


Just Like That

by deanstrenchcoatangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build, UST
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanstrenchcoatangel/pseuds/deanstrenchcoatangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trees whirled past the open window, a cool wind breezing in and out of the 67’ Chevy Impala. As Dean drove down the highway, a sign proclaiming, ‘Welcome to Denver, Colorado’ sped past him. With a sigh, he glanced at his younger brother Sam asleep in the passenger seat. 'You can do this, Winchester. It's just 4 years.' He didn't even have the decency to believe himself. <br/>***<br/>Leaving Lawrence to go to the University of Denver is the biggest decision Dean ever made. With the help of his new roommate, Castiel, can he put the secrets of his dark past behind him and move on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leaving Lawrence

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy this! This is the first time I've ever really written slow build, so please bear with me. :) Feel free to leave comments, and I will try and respond to them all. Kudos are appreciated and cherished. :) I'm hoping to update weekly, or as often as I can.

Trees whirled past the open window, a cool wind breezing in and out of the 67’ Chevy Impala. As Dean drove down the highway, a sign proclaiming, _‘Welcome to Denver, Colorado’_ sped past him. With a sigh, he glanced at his younger brother Sam asleep in the passenger seat. Grinning, he dangled the white plastic spoon over Sam’s mouth, finally lowering it. With a shout, he shot awake, throwing the spoon back at Dean.

“Jerk.” He spat, frowning. His long brown hair flopped into his large brown eyes.

“Bitch.” Dean said fondly, turning his attention to the road once more. “We’re almost here.”

Sam eyed him up and down. “You nervous?”

Dean couldn’t help but scoff. _Him.. Nervous?_ “No way. Dean Winchester does not get nervous.”

“’Cept on planes…” Sam muttered, earning himself a punch in the arm. Dean did not dignify his comment with any other form of response as they eased onto the final road leading to the University of Denver, where he would be studying for the next four years. This had been Dean’s dream college for years, given their extensive courses and classes in the literary arts.

Dean would be majoring in Creative Writing, and though the thought made his heart soar, the price of the school had made his stomach drop. He had worked his hardest in high school to get as many scholarships as possible. On top of that, he was working part time at his Uncle Bobby’s auto-shop. Of course, he couldn’t do that now, him being 8 hours away in a completely different state.

He would have to find a new job, and he hated to even entertain that thought. Bosses tended to not like him, which probably explained why Bobby was the only person to ever hire him, and he was family. Family. Ugh, the thought pained him. One of the reasons Dean hadn’t wanted to come to this school was the distance. He had never been this far from his family at one time.

He would be leaving his mother, father, and his little brother behind. He hated to think about how much he would be missing. In two more years, Sam would graduate. God knows where that kid would want to go to college, and god knows he could and would get into wherever he wanted. Sam was too smart for his own good.

He must have gotten it from Mary, Dean thought to himself. Not that his father John wasn’t smart, but his mother had the IQ of a rocket scientist. Dean had sometimes wondered if they were even related. Of course, with Mary and his matching green eyes, their similar hair color as well as both of their stubborn and fiery attitudes, it wasn’t really a question. Mary knew her way around a fight, having grown up with a ton of older, male cousins, yet she was the kindest person Dean had ever laid eyes on and was a fabulous kindergarten teacher. She had long blonde curls, which framed her elegant face, cascading over her shoulders. Her eyes were the same small brown flecked green ones as Dean’s own. All in all, she was beautiful.

John, on the other hand, was quite gruff. After spending a few years in the military, he had come home to Mary, and had joined the local police force. He had a mess of black hair on his head, a light beard on his chin the same color. He had broad shoulders and a firm jawline. Dark brown eyes, a shade or two darker than Sam’s were placed just below a set of frown lines on John’s face, giving him the appearance of a man much older than himself.

Bobby was the last piece of his family. He may not have been blood-related, but that didn’t matter much to the Winchesters. He was family, and that was that. In Bobby’s own words, family don’t end with blood. Truer words have never been spoken. Bobby was an older man, with a scruffy gray-specked beard, and kind eyes. The man was never seen without a baseball cap, like _ever._

Despite leaving his family, his job, and well, his everything behind… Dean was ready to start over. After the _Incident,_ Dean needed to start over. His whole body was aching to put the past where it belonged and move on. And he would.

He sighed deeply as he parked outside of the apartment complex near the college. A small dark cloud of worry settled on his chest. After worrying about the distance and the money, he hadn’t even thought to worry about the most obvious thing. He would have three roommates. People that he would have to live with for a year, maybe longer.

Most people would be staying in a dorm, obviously, but Dean had decided to room with a few fellow students. He had been searching for a cheaper place to stay, and finding a Craig’s List ad had answered all of his prayers.

A girl named Charlie was supposed to be meeting him inside, having mailed him a key, after their many conversations regarding the apartment. Between the two of them, and the other two roommates that would be joining them, Dean would be spending half the expected amount on rent.

“Dean?” He jerked his head up. Sam was waiting outside of his door, his head nodded in the direction of the building. “You coming?” He shifted the large box in his arms. “Should I put this down or…”

Dean pushed out of the car, slamming the door behind him. “It should be on the third floor.” He headed to the backseat, pulling a smaller box out, as well as a few larger ones. By the time he had finished, his mother, father, and Bobby (who had followed them there) had parked, and were ready to help.

Between the five of them, and Dean only having a small amount of possessions, it only took one trip, and Dean was navigating his ways through the long corridor of rooms until he found his new apartment. Setting down his boxes, he dug through his coat pockets for his key.

The lock on the door was a rusted gold, having weathered over time. The door itself was a pale blue, scratches dotting here and there on the surface. He finally managed to get the door open, using the key and a big of extra tugging and jiggling, all the while making a mental note to fix the lock.

Inside, there was a small hallway, an opening on the right leading a small, cramped looking kitchen. At the end of the hallway, a large archway led into a decent sized living room. A television was propped up on one wall, a beaten looking couch facing it. In between the couch and the TV was a small coffee table, where a large stack of textbooks was balanced. Off to the side were a misshapen beanbag and a loveseat big enough for two. On the far was a large window, giving Dean a look at the park just outside their complex, and well as the pool next door to it.

A petite red-haired girl was stretched out on the couch with her feet on the coffee table, and upon sensing their arrival, jumped up. Her pale, freckled-covered face broke into a grin. “Hi! I’m Charlie!” She wore a faded _Star Wars_ shirt, and light washed jeans. Black Converse with rainbow laces covered her feet. Dean smirked to himself.

“I’m Dean. That’s my mom, Mary,” he gestured to her, “My dad, John, my Uncle Bobby, and my little bro Sammy.”

“Little?” She raised an eyebrow, eyeing Sam.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the surprised, and slightly offended, look on Sam’s face. “Your bedroom’s this way.” She led the group down a side hallway on the right, pointing to the furthest door. “First door is Castiel’s. From what I can tell, you get on his wrong side and he will _smite_ you. He’s coming in tomorrow.” She added. “Second door is the linen closet, and the one beside it’s the bathroom. Last one’s yours. Go through the living room, there’s a hallway on the left. Same deal there, first bedroom’s mine, then linen closet, bathroom and Jo’s room. She’ll be in this afternoon. I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” She turned to go, giving him a fleeting smile.

“Oh, and Winchester?” He looked back at her. “Touch any of my figurines, and I’ll rip off your balls and feed them to you. Sautee them up and everything.” She winked, disappearing from the hallway.

Dean had to admit, he liked the girl. Leading the Winchester/Singer bunch into his bedroom, he stacked his boxes on the twin bed inside. “You can just set them wherever.” He shrugged.

Mary was the first to cry. At first, she had seemed okay, better than Dean had expected her to take it. Then came the water works. “My baby’s all grown up,” she said, her voice cracking as Dean pulled her into a tight hug.

“It’s okay, Mom. I’m still your little boy.” He grinned at her. “I’m still going to call you every week, and be home every holiday.”

“And we’ll be back to visit him, Mom.” Sam offered from behind them. Dean was internally grateful that his brother always seemed to understand how to appease Mary. Dean was certainly lacking in that department.

She sighed heavily, looking at him long and hard. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Mom.” He smiled into her hair, soaking in his last few minutes of mother-son time. She kissed him on the cheek, her eyes still brimming with tears.

She stepped back as John clasped Dean’s hand. “Son.”

“Yeah, Dad?” He felt his spine instantly stiffen now that his father’s attention was on him solely.

“I’m proud of you.” His smile spread and he pulled Dean into a hug. “I’m so proud of you.” It was all Dean needed to hear, and he was beaming like an idiot.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Now, listen here, I know you’re going to be a stubborn little,” he paused, seemingly remembering Sam was in the room. “A stubborn little... guy,” he amended, “but, please take it easy this year. We can handle the money for now. Just… Work on school, okay? No working for now.” His tone was forceful, but Dean knew better. His father knew full well that Dean wouldn’t listen, that if he could, he’d be working three full time jobs. Nevertheless, he wanted to ease Mary’s mind, and if that meant pretending he wouldn’t work, then so be it.

“Fine. I’ll focus on school for this year.” John released his hand, stepping aside so that Bobby could hug him too.

“Call me in a week or two if you can’t get a job, and I’ll see what I can do.” He whispered, low enough for only Dean to hear.

“Thanks, Bobby.” He hugged him a little tighter then. Bobby was like a second father to Dean, and Dean would never stop feeling grateful to him. _Ever._

Bobby had barely moved before Sam was chucking himself at his brother, teary-eyed and red-nosed. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Hey, look,” Dean started, patting his brother on the back softly, “I’m going to be back on Thanksgiving, before then if I can. And, you can come see me, remember?” Sam chuckled softly, recalling their identical conversation with Mary. “Plus, we both have phones, and maybe you can help me figure out that _Scope,_ or whatever.”

“Skype?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Sammy.” He batted him away playfully.

“When did you become such an old man?”

“When did you become such a girl?” He lifted the ends of Sam’s long brown hair.

“Hey!” He pulled his hair from Dean’s reach. “Chicks dig it.”

Dean snorted. “Sure they do, Sammy. Keep telling yourself that.”

“Jerk.” Sam mumbled.

“Bitch.” Dean replied fondly.

“Language!” Their mother joined in, causing both Winchesters to dissolve into laughter. If only Mary knew half the crap Dean and Sam said to each other…

With a morbid look at the clock, Sam frowned. “We better start back now, if we’re going to get home before midnight.” He looked so miserable, as though the thought of another 8 hour trip physically pained him.

“I’ll walk you out.” Charlie looked up as they trekked through the apartment.

“It was nice meeting you guys!” She said cheerfully. She was met with a chorus of ‘you toos’ and ‘goodbyes’ among other variations of them.

As they reached the door, they exchanged final hugs. “I’ll see you all at Thanksgiving.” Dean said softly.

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll be bringing a girl with you.” Mary gave a pointed look towards Charlie, and Dean frowned. Not likely.

“Mom. It’s been a month since Alis-” Sam started, instantly cutting himself off with a nervous glance towards a now paling Dean.

“It’s fine, Sam. You can say his name.” Dean cut in sharply. Despite what he may say about the _Incident_ , and how _okay_ he was, he really was barely holding it together. They weren’t even _together_ anymore, he was gone for good, and yet he still had control over Dean’s life. It really wasn’t fair.

“Uh, nevermind.” He mumbled, a light blush featured on his upper cheeks.

Dean sighed softly, an apology already on the tip of his tongue but Mary stopped the two. “I expect a call when you’re all settled in.”

“Yes, Mom, I will call and give you the dish on all my new roommates.” He said tiredly, but an underlying tone of affection and amusement was overly apparent.

As his mother smiled, Dean was struck with the thought of how much Mary resembled an angel. With her hair curled back in such a manner, it resembled a golden halo. In a way, she was an angel. She was _his_ angel. Dean had never been away from his mother for more than a few days, and had obviously been underestimating how much he would miss her.

Mary had always been there for him. _Always._ He remembered being afraid of the dark when he was younger, and his mother would sit up with him until he fell asleep, singing _Hey Jude_ and rocking him softly. He remembered his mother promising that angels were watching over him, and would always protect him. She was the one to pick up the pieces after the _Incident_. She was the one to encourage him to go to college.

He hugged her tightly, almost wanting to beg to come home with her. Eventually, he let her go, all the while wanting to cry. “Now, you guys are cramping my style.” He waved his arms. “Go… Go…”

“We’ll miss you too,” Mary smiled softly, as the others went before her. “Dean, promise me you _will_ try to forget about him. _Please_ don’t let him ruin something else for you.”

Dean nodded. “I promise, Mom.” At the time, he had meant it. He really had.

***

Charlie had popped up behind him, shortly after him seeing his family off. “Want something to drink?” She raised an eyebrow, leading him into the kitchen.

“Just some Coke or whatever you drink.” He mumbled. Watching his family take off sucked butt. Big time. He wasn’t used to not having a houseful of people around him, and he felt like a chunk of himself had been carved out. Needless to say, Dean was not a fan.

She chuckled, nudging Dean out of the way so she could reach the cabinet above him. He practically gaped at the alcohol she had stored up. There was row upon row of vodka, whiskey, gin, rum, tequila, scotch, brandy and a couple Dean didn’t even recognize. You name it; it was probably there. She opened the cabinet beside it, filled with shot glasses, wine glasses, amongst ordinary cups. “You’ve got your hard liquor and whatnot up here, and beer and wine’s in the fridge. So, my dear friend, I ask again, what can I get you?” She said smugly. He said, pulling out some brandy and reaching

“Marry me.” He said, eyes wide.

“You’re….” She ran her eyes up and down him as he selected a beer from the fridge, “not my type.” With a shrug, she passed him to grab her own beer.

“Oh, honey… I’m everyone’s type.” He smirked.

She simply rolled her eyes, before popping the cap on her beer with her teeth. “Not lesbians’.” She eyed him warily, as though he might bolt.

Instead, he simply frowned. “I beg to differ, my dear.”

Charlie seemed to visibly calm afterward, and the two ended up on the couch, fighting over which episode of Dr. Sexy M.D. was better. Dean put forth a compelling argument about how Season 2 Episode 12, in which Dr. Sexy single-handedly saved three children’s lives, all the while being held at gunpoint, and having not slept in 48 hours, was obviously the best.

Charlie disagreed. She thought that Season 3 Episode 4, in which Dr. Sexy has to perform an impossible brain surgery in a fallen elevator shaft while the ghost of a deceased patient haunts him and does everything in his power to screw him up, was the most compelling and well put together.

In the end, they agreed they were both wrong, and the best episode was the musical episode when Dr. Sexy had to perform heart surgery on his girlfriend, under the influence, all while having to stop every three minutes to burst into song. “Good old Season 6...” Dean muttered.

“Dang rig-” Charlie was cut off as the door to the apartment was thrown open; a short, thin figure appearing in the doorway. If it hadn’t been for the short jean shirt she was wearing, Dean would’ve been oblivious to the gender of the figure. She was clutching a stack of boxes so high Dean couldn’t make out her face.

“Charlieeeeee………” The voice practically moaned, definitely female. “Helllllpppp.”

“That’s Jo.” Charlie bounded up from her seat on the couch, racing to help ‘Jo’ with her boxes. After a moment, the Kansas hospitality kicked in and Dean was helping too.

As the trio made their way towards Jo’s room with her boxes, Dean grinned at the girl. She had large brown eyes, a sharp nose, and a set of full lips. She had a long, blonde ponytail atop her hair, and a no-nonsense air about her. “I’m Dean.”

“Jo.” A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I’d offer a hand to shake, but… You know…” She lifted her boxes ever-so-slightly.

He shrugged, shifting his boxes. “What the hell do you have in these? Rocks?”

She laughed, white teeth shining out at him. “You got stuck with my textbooks, idiot.” She nodded her head at the misshapen letters on the top of the package, reading **USELESS CRAP (TEXTBOOKS)**.

They reached her room, and she gestured for him to set the box in her closet, clearly taking the Dean Winchester Unpack-It-Later Rule to heart. He turned away from the closet to find the two girls hugging tightly. “You too?” He sighed. “My luck. I get roomed with two hot girls, and they’re both lesbians.”

Charlie snorted, and Jo blushed. “We’re not _together._ ” Jo said quietly. “And the term is bisexual.”

Dean gave her a half-smile. “Me too.”

“Oh, really?” Jo said, her eyes narrowing on him.

“Scouts honor.” He gave her a fake salute. She didn’t seem to believe him. “Look, I’ve dated chicks, and I dated a guy.” Sure, that relationship went up in flames… but who’s counting?

“Okay.” Jo shrugged.

Dean frowned at the two of them. They were standing barely more than two inches away from each other, although nearly seemed to notice or care. Definitely not strangers. “So… If you’re not lesbian lovers… Then what?”

“We were best friends in high school.” Charlie said with a shrug. “We decided to continue the Bradbury-Harvelle legacy for another four years.”

“Harvelle-Bradbury.” Jo interjected.

“Huh?”

“It would be Harvelle-Bradbury. Obviously I’d come first.” She said, as though it were obvious.

“You wish, Sweetcheeks.”

“It would be!”

“In your wet dreams.”

Jo’s eyes narrowed, about to retaliate, when Dean cut in. “I’m hungry. Anyone know anywhere decent around here?”

“Nah.” Jo said quickly.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Nah… It’s not like the best burger place in all of town is a mere three-and-a-half minutes away.”

“Burgers?” If Dean had dog’s ear, they would have perked up. “I like burgers.”

“Charlie. No.” Jo said forcefully.

“Why?” Dean whined.

“I don’t like burgers.” Jo said quickly.

“Bullcrap!” Charlie said. “ _You_ just don’t want Dean to meet your mom.”

“Oooooooh…” Dean’s eyes widened almost comically. “I get to meet Mama Harvelle? We’re going!”

“I _will_ break your arm.” Jo warned.

“Good thing I only need one to eat a burger.”

“Oh, come on, Jo. We’re starving.” Charlie clutched the blonde’s upper arm, making puppy eyes. Hers were almost as good as Sam’s.

“Fine.” Jo growled. “I’m not driving. And I’m _not_ speaking to either of you ever again.”

“I’ll drive.” Dean said, brushing over Jo’s comment. One thing Dean loved more than anything; his car. When he turned 16, the Impala had been passed from his father to him, and he had taken better care of it than himself.

“Fine by me!” Charlie agreed.

The trio left the apartment complex, Dean climbing into the driver’s side of his car, Charlie crying “SHOTGUN!” and Jo reluctantly sliding into the backseat. And just like _that_ , Dean was moving on.


	2. A New Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio eat at the Roadhouse, and Castiel arrives at the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please note that I am not in college, and will not be for several years. I am going off of basic internet knowledge, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make regarding classes, schedules, and so forth. Feel free to correct me on any glaring mistakes. I love reading your comments, and make sure that I respond to each one. Have fun reading.

Charlie gave him directions the whole way there. A bunch of ‘turn right’ or ‘turn left’ or ‘no, you idiot turn around, you missed it’. Overall, it only took 5 minutes for them to reach the Roadhouse, and for Jo to plead with them to turn around. She even offered to pay for them to go to Olive Garden.

“There aren’t burgers at Olive Garden, now are there, Jo?” Dean had replied cheekily. He had simply gotten a slap in response.

The Roadhouse was an older, wooden building. It was worn down, and weathered, almost abandoned looking. Despite the appearance of the building, the parking lot was packed, giving Dean a _lot_ of anxiety when parking his car. If anyone bumped her… Dean didn’t want to think about it.

Eventually, they found a decent enough parking space, and the trio made their way inside. The restaurant was large, tables and booths scattered around, a row of pool tables against one wall, and a bar along the back one.

“Come on,” Jo grumbled, leading them to a booth near the kitchen. Dean was not surprised when Charlie followed Jo into her side of the booth.

“So,” Dean started conversationally as he examined his menu, “Where’s Mama Harvelle?”

“Will you _stop_ calling her that?” She cringed, seemingly hiding her face.

Not a second later, a guy looking to be in his early-to-mid 20’s appeared, his brown hair styled in a mullet. “What can I-” His eyes narrowed. “Jo? Should I tell Ellen you’re here or…?”

Her face turned a bright shade of pink. “No! Ash, I swear to God, tell my Mom I’m here, and I will skin you alive. But not before I royally kick your ass.”

“Oh, don’t mind her, Ash-y dear. She’s just on her period.” Charlie teased.

“I am not!” Jo exclaimed, but Charlie ignored her.

“I’ll take a Roadhouse burger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake.” Charlie waited until he had taken her order.

“Just a milkshake for me.” Jo muttered.

Ash turned to Dean. “What can I get you, my man?”

“How about…. A triple bacon cheeseburger, a double side of fries, and a Coke?”

“Got it.” He nodded, checking their orders, and heading towards the kitchen.

“Hey, man!” Dean called after him.

Ash turned. “Yeah?”

“By the way, uh, I dig the haircut.” He nodded, laughing to himself.

“Heck yeah man. All business up front,” he pointed to his hair, “party in the back.” With a swish of his hair, he slid through the kitchen door.

An older woman, her shoulder-length brown hair, swaying over her shoulder left the kitchen not a moment later. Dean instantly knew she had to be Jo’s mother. Between their eyes, and the angry no-nonsense air around the two, they had to be. That, and the fact that the scanned the crowd of people, landing on Jo.

“Joanna Beth Harvelle.” She growled, covering the distance between their table and her in seconds. “Why did you miss your shift this morning?”

Jo sunk down into her seat. “Do we have to do this now?”

“Yes.” Ellen said, crossing her eyes.

“I was,” she cast a look towards Charlie, “with Charlie, wasn’t I?”

“Yep.” Charlie said it so simply, for a minute Dean forgot it was a lie. “She’s been with me, since like, 8 this morning. And Dean! Dean was there. We were unpacking our new apartment.” Charlie and Jo nodded eagerly.

Ellen blinked, as though just becoming aware the girls weren’t alone. She regained her composure. “Is this true, _Dean_?”

Three sets of eyes watched him, unblinking. “Uh, yes?” Dean swallowed.

“Hm. Okay, then.” She pursed her lips, turning back to her daughter. “Joanna Beth Harvelle.” Ellen used her full name, leaving Jo groaning in protest. “Next time, I expect you to answer your damn phone. Am I understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jo nodded.

“You know better than to run off when we’re so busy. I have half a mind to make you work of your hours now… God knows we’re busy enough to need the help, and I don’t have the money to be hiring more staff.” She muttered.

“Sorry.” Jo mumbled.

As they waited for their food, Charlie and Jo asked about what classes Dean would be taking. “I’m majoring in Creative Writing, so I’ve got a butt-load of English classes, and things like that. I’m also taking Calculus so there’s that.”

“Me too!” Charlie said. “Well, the Calculus part, anyway.”

“What’s your major?” He asked, nodding between Jo and Charlie.

“Computer Science and Engineering.” Charlie smiled. “Total computer geek here.”

“She can hack anything, anywhere, anytime.” Jo said, as though she were a proud mother, or girlfriend, not just a ‘bestie’ from high school.

“Pshh... Okay, yeah, so I’m like the smartest person ever, okay, yeah, can we move on now?” A blush crept across Charlie’s cheeks.

“What about you, Jo?”

“What about me?” She asked, almost defensively. Dean frowned. Was Jo mad at him? Ugh. Girls were confusing.

“What’s your major?”

“Oh, uh, Physical Therapy.” She shrugged.

Ash arrived a few minutes later, handing down plates of fries, and mouthwatering burgers. His had barely been sat down before Dean was sinking his teeth into it. He let out a long moan. “Dear God…”

“Told you.” Charlie looked quite pleased with herself. “Best burgers in Denver.”

“Best burgers in the world.” Dean corrected. “Holy crap… What are these made out of? Unicorn meat?”

Jo rolled her eyes but Charlie shrugged. “Probably. If you think the burgers are good, you should try the pie.”

Dean dropped his burgers, ears perking up. “Pie?” He looked around. “Where’s the pie? Dammit Charlie, you can’t just joke about pie like that!”

“Relax, Dean… You’ll get your pie.” Jo looked around for a second, waving over mullet guy-er, Ash. “Dean’s about to burst an artery if he doesn’t get some pie.”

Ash grimaced. “We’re out.” He backed away from Dean, as though afraid of getting hit. Dean couldn’t blame him.

He looked down, silently picked up his burger, and resumed eating. “Dean?” Charlie asked warily. “You okay?”

“’M fine. Just great.” A lone tear rolled down his cheek. “Just fan-freaking-tastic.” His voice even cracked.

Charlie began laughing, a real, low, belly-shaking laugh, Jo following suit. Soon, Dean had joined in, and the three were laughing as though they had known each other for years, not mere hours.

And just like _that_ , Dean had a new family.

***

After eating, Dean, Charlie and Jo had driven around a while. Dean didn’t know where anything was, so they gave him directions to the college, the nearest stores, gas stations, and a few other places they liked. In the end, Dean had a pretty good feel of the town, and was determined to find the apartment by himself. It took longer than it should have, but he figured it out.

The three ended up going upstairs, drinking 5 beers a piece (more than 8 for Jo), and marathoning Dr. Sexy M.D. until they passed out in a heap on the couch. It was one of the best nights Dean had ever had. Throughout his life, Dean hadn’t had many friends.

Sure, he’d had Sammy, but that was his brother. Then he’d had Cassie, until Dean screwed that up by asking her out. Eventually, they broke up, and they never talked again. He’d had Garth, but the two were never _close._ Kevin was more Sam’s friend than his. He’d had Pamela, and they had been pretty close, until she got in that car accident, went blind, and moved to another state to attend a school for the blind. Hell, the closest thing he’d had to a friend in a long time was Alistair. Unfortunately for him, everyone and their mother in Lawrence knew that story.

As soon as the thought of Alistair came into Dean’s mind, he had to push it out. He couldn’t let him just come in and ruin things again. Not this time.

***

The smell of bacon and eggs pulled Dean from his dreams. He had _that_ dream again. He was still reliving that night, over and over again. It wasn’t fair.

“Dean? Is your lazy ass up yet, or do I need to eat all this bacon myself?” Dean frowned. Where was he? It wasn’t until he saw the huge stack of boxes against his wall that he remembered that he was in his new room. In his new apartment. He smiled to himself. “I’m serious, Winchester. You have five seconds before I eat all of this.”

Dean’s smile grew. “I’m coming, _dear._ ” He stretched as he padded down the hallway, yawning the whole way. Charlie stood at the stove, moving bacon from a pan to a colorful glass plate covered with paper towels. She wore a matching t-shirt and pajama shorts decorated with mini Hogwarts crests, her red hair propped on her head in a messy bun. She passed him two plates, which he balanced and still managed to grab a waiting cup of coffee. Well, more like a cup of black sludge.

Jo was on the couch, wearing an overly large DU sweatshirt, and sweatpants. Her hair was messy, falling over her face as she clutched her head. “How much did I drink?” She groaned.

“A lot,” Dean said, ruffling her hair, and handing down her plate. He considered pushing her feet off of the couch so he could sit, but resolved to sit in the loveseat instead. “Hey, Charlie?” He called as she came into the room, carrying her own coffee and plate.

“Hmm?” She raised her eyebrow. Once her plate and mug were balanced on the coffee table, she dumped the blonde’s feet on the floor, clearing not pitying her at all.

“Isn’t there supposed to be another guy here? I mean, not that I don’t _love_ hanging with you ladies, but I need to not be outnumbered here.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Castiel should be here sometime today.”

“Wait… Castiel? The hell kind of name is that?” Jo snorted.

The redhead glared at the two of them. “Shame on you,” she pointed to Dean, “for making fun of him. And you,” she pointed to Jo, “don’t encourage him!”

“Hey, Charlie? If you ever get tired of that stick up your ass, I’ll be more than willing to remove it.”

She pursed her lips. “I can kick you out, you know?”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He smirked.

“Hmph.” Charlie huffed, standing. “I think I am going to go enjoy _my_ breakfast elsewhere.” She marched over to Dean, plucking the bacon from his plate and strutting away.

Dean frowned. “Well then.”

Jo laughed at the bewildered expression on his face.

***

It was a few hours later, while Dean was unpacking, that there he heard a series of loud bangs on the front door. Charlie and Jo had gone out to do some last minute shopping, leaving the Winchester by himself. Not that he didn’t enjoy their company, but he would never get anything done with them around. He furrowed his brow as he pulled on a shirt and answered the door. “Hello?”

Two guys looking to be around Dean’s age stood outside. The shorter one bore an amused grin, his light brown hair framing his face in a manner not unlike Sam’s. His eyes were the color of whiskey, and brightened when they saw Dean.

The second man was taller, yet still several inches from Dean’s own height. His eyes were a striking blue, watching him carefully as he shifted around the boxes in his arms. Light scruff spread across his jaw, the dark color of his messy black hair. He wore an expression that was equal parts annoyed and tired.

_Please let the short one be Castiel._ Dean prayed silently. “Can I help you?”

“Are you Charlie?” Blue Eyes asked, and God if that voice didn’t make Dean weak in the knees. It was a deep, rough voice, as though he hadn’t spoken for years.

“Nah, but she’ll be back soon. You Castiel?” Dean sighed as Blue Eyes-er, Castiel, nodded. _Of course the angry one is my new roommate._ “I’m Dean.”

“Great.” Castiel said shortly. “Are you going to move and let me in, or what?”

“Of course.” Dean slid aside after a moment, not bothering to ask if Castiel wanted help. If he wanted to be a jerk, there was no reason Dean had to play nice. “Your room’s over there-”

He trailed off as Castiel shoved past him and went into his room. The short guy gave him an apologetic smile. “He’s not so bad once you get to know him. Long car ride, you know?” Dean nodded curtly. “I’m Gabriel. Of course, you can call me Gabe. Honestly, I don’t care what you call me… Just make sure that you do.” He winked.

Castiel groaned. “Lay off, Gabriel. I mean it. You may go now.” He gestured to the door.

Gabriel looked offended. “I drive your sorry ass around all day, and this is all the thanks I get?” The raven haired man narrowed his eyes, causing Gabriel to raise his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, Cassie. Stop by the store sometime, or I _will_ make personal trips to visit you and your new boytoy.” He winked at Dean again before leaving.

“I apologize for my brother’s incompetence.” He didn’t sound even remotely sorry. At least he didn’t seem as angry.

“Yeah, whatever, Cas.” Dean had barely gotten the nickname out when Cas froze, his body taut with tension. “What’s up?”

“You called me Cas…”

“And?” One eyebrow raised.

“I’ve never been called Cas before.”

“Yeah, well, now you have. Sorry, but Castiel is a frickin’ mouthful.”

“I suppose.” Castiel rolled his eyes.

“Look, _Cas,_ I’m going to make dinner before Charlie and Jo come back and whine. Want anything?” Dean was going to try. He was going to make Cas stop being a dick, if it killed him.

“I already ate with my siblings.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” The two went there opposite ways, not bothering to make conversation with one another after that. Dean made burgers, and Cas unpacked. Apartment 3401 was silent, reeking of aggravated tension. Dean and Castiel may not have been enemies, they may not have yet been friends, but just like that, a bond had formed, one that would grow and thrive. Not that either of them would ever believe it.


	3. Night Terrors and Dancing Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has an eventful week, ranging from nightmares to a new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken this long to update! I'll try and get these chapters out faster. :) I would like to remind you all that this is all un-beta'd, so if there are errors, I do apologize. Also, I'm not in college, so if there are any errors as far as how classes work, feel free to tell me, as I do not know. The same goes for Dean's new job. All kudos and comments are appreciated! Enjoy!

Castiel didn’t talk much. When Charlie and Jo got home, they acted as though they had received a long-awaited package. They arrived with a barrage of questions, Castiel deflecting anything requiring more than a one word answer.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“What are you majoring in?”

“Art.”

“Why did you come to DU?”

“My sister goes here.”

“Do you have any other family here?”

“My brother.”

“Are you a serial killer?”

“Nope.”

“That’s what a serial killer would say.”

“Guess you’re just going to have to take my word.”

“Where are you from?”

“Kansas.” Around then is when Dean joined in, hearing his own home state.

“Where in Kansas?”

Castiel shrugged. “Lawrence.”

“No way. Me too.” He paused slightly. “I don’t remember any Castiel’s at Lawrence High.”

“You wouldn’t, seeing as I was homeschooled. All of my siblings were.” He shrugged again, as though Dean should have somehow known this.

Worry crept into the corners of Dean’s mind. If Castiel really was from Lawrence, then did he know about Alastair? He had to have at least heard about him… Everyone had. It was one of the reasons he was so eager to leave Kansas behind.

Dean decided to leave any and all subjects adjacent to Alastair untouched. _Better safe than sorry._ The conversation didn’t continue much from there, Charlie and Jo’s interrogation seemed over, and the four went to their own rooms.

***

Over the course of the next week, life truly started for Dean. Castiel’s cold shoulder had begun to thaw, however slowly. The two of them, and Charlie, had the same Calculus class with Professor Mills. They would have breakfast with Jo, grab their coffees and make their way to DU, books in hand. Every morning before class, Dean would go on a run. Just because he wasn’t planning on joining any sports team this year, didn’t mean he couldn’t stay in shape.

Dean loved his creative writing class, although the same could not be said for his professor Marv. The man was full of himself, always going on and on about his previous works, and how popular they had been. _If they were so good, why are you teaching a class on writing instead of actually writing?_ Dean thought to himself. Chuck, a quiet guy with curly brown hair, sat next to him during Professor Marv’s class. The two became fast friends, bonding over a mutual hatred of their teacher.

The rest of his classes were a blend of boring and bland. Nothing particularly stood out, or caused any particular interest.

Alastair had not entered Dean’s thoughts for almost a week. Dean almost dared to believe that he was going to be okay. He almost allowed himself to believe that Alastair wouldn’t return to his thoughts, his dreams; that he was gone for good. He should have known better.

***

It was a Thursday night when everything came crashing down. Dean slept fitfully. Memories of Alastair plagued his dreams, sending him screaming into a dark abyss of pain and despair.

Dean felt someone shaking him harshly. Alastair had come back for him. He always did. Dean would never be safe. Never. Hands were grabbing him tighter, jerking him more fiercely. Someone was saying his name. Dean would not open his eyes. If he kept them closed, he wouldn’t have to see Alastair’s face. He wouldn’t have to feel the punches, the hits that just kept coming.

Tears rolled down his face as he struggling to breathe. His lungs protested furiously, unable to find purchase in the now stifling room.

“Dean?” A rough voice asked, concern thinly veiled. Dean’s eyes snapped open, meeting blue ones only inches from his. _Cas._ Not Alastair. “Are you alright?” Castiel was pulling him from the fear, from the misery, pulling him from the hell that was his mind.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay,” his voice quivered and cracked, betraying him. He sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I heard you scream.” It was said quietly, almost as if he were daring Dean to object. Dean didn’t. “I don’t think Charlie or Jo did… But, you know, I was awake… And, yeah…” He trailed off.

Dean felt mortified. He hadn’t screamed or spoke in his sleep in weeks. Of course it would start again. But now? Now that he was _finally_ trying to move on? Now that he was _finally_ trying to forget? Of course it would.

“Dean?” Castiel snapped him from his thoughts. “What were you dreaming about?”

Dean could feel the rough hands on his neck, could remember struggling for breath, could still hear himself begging for mercy. He could still smell the faint hint of whiskey lingering on Alastair’s breath as he pushed Dean. No. No. Please. No. Something wet dropped onto his hand. _Crap._ He was crying again.

“Dean. Look at me. Focus on me.” Green eyes snapped up, air slowly filling lungs beneath a heaving chest. “It was just a nightmare, okay? You’re okay. See?” He gestured to the room around them. “It was just a bad dream. You’re safe.”

Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’m okay.” Alastair wasn’t here. He couldn’t hurt him. “Thanks, Cas.” He added softly, pink dusting his cheekbones.

“It’s fine. I, uh, I used to get panic attacks too, you know…” A panic attack. Of course. Dean had had them nearly daily after Alastair. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” He nodded quickly. He had been enough of a trouble for one night.

Castiel didn’t look at all convinced. “Do you want to, I don’t know, watch some television or something?”

Dean felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. He decided right then that he liked Cas. He might be a little stiff, or even downright unfriendly, but Dean had made up his mind to try and change that. “Yeah.” Cas left the room, heading for the living area, and Dean pulled on some clothes. Ever since he moved in, he had taken to sleeping in nothing but his boxers. He left the room in flannel pajama bottoms and his favorite Led Zeppelin tee.

Castiel was planted on the couch, on the left side, two mugs of hot coffee sitting on the table. “You like your coffee black, correct?” Dean nodded. “I’m not familiar with any of those movies, to be honest, so I figured you would be able to find something.”

Dean furrowed his brow. There had to be almost a hundred movies in Charlie’s collection, not even mentioning all of the television shows. “You’ve never seen Doctor Sexy M.D.?”

Castiel tilted his head, reminding Dean of a curious puppy. “Doctor Sexy M.D.? What’s that?” Dean grinned.

“The best medical drama in the entire world.” He grabbed the DVD from where it was resting on the coffee table. It had been over a week and none of the four college students had bothered to put it back in the DVD stand. Popping open the DVD case, he pulled out the first season’s disc. “You’ll love it.” Castiel raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.  

It was after 4 in the morning when they finished the first season, and Castiel only had one comment. “It was incredibly inaccurate.” Dean laughed harder than he had in months.

***

After that night, Dean and Castiel became closer. The older boy joined the other on his morning runs, and they worked on their homework together, rather than just checking each other’s work. Throughout everything, it seemed they had made an unspoken vow not to talk about that night. They talked about class, weekend plans, even the weather, but never Dean’s nightmares. For that, Dean was sure he had never been more grateful.

***

“Where’s the coffee?” Ever since Castiel had joined Dean on his runs, it had fallen to the ladies to have coffees ready for the four before class. Today, however, they had other plans.

Jo leaned against the kitchen counter, sporting her favorite sweatshirt and jeans. It was only late August, but the weather had become chilly. Dean had heard some say it was the coldest weather that Denver had seen in years. He didn’t doubt it.

“We’ve decided to go out today. I’m sick of the black sludge you boys call coffee.” Charlie said, leaving her room in a Star Wars t-shirt, and jeans. Her Converse were tied with rainbow-colored laces.

“That, and the fact that our machine is broken.” Jo chimed in.  

“You’re kidding me.” Dean ran into the kitchen to see their coffee maker laying in pieces on the far counter. “What did you do?” he demanded.

“There was a bug.” Jo offered unhelpfully.

“And?”

“And now there’s not.” A smug smile crossed her face.

“I’m not paying.” Dean grumbled.

***

The coffee shop was just down the road, and surprisingly very empty. It was a small brick building, squished in between a comic book store Charlie liked, and a McDonalds. The interior was homey, all plush armchairs and tiny wooden tables. It smelled of coffee and vanilla. Only a few other customers were inside, but Dean made the other three find a good table anyway.

Dean ordered for them; two black coffees for Cas and himself, a chocolate chip frappe for Charlie, and a caramel iced latte for Jo. He was waiting at the counter for their drinks when a stout man dressed in a suit approached him. He spoke with an English accent. “I haven’t seen you around here before.” The way he was eyeing Dean gave him a bad feeling, as though he were a steak about to be eaten.

“Sorry, buddy, not interested.” Dean cut him off.

“You act as though I am.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Name’s Crowley. I own the club downtown, Supernatural.” There was a certain weight on the name of the club, as though Dean should have known it. When Dean shrugged, Crowley plowed on. “One of my… dancers, if you will, is leaving my service, and I am in great need of a replacement. You would suit my needs well.”

It finally clicked in Dean’s mind exactly what Crowley was asking. “No thanks.” He said curtly.

“It pays quite well.” He handed him a card. “Call me if you change your mind.” As the short man walked away, Dean looked over the card. _Fergus Crowley, co-owner of Supernatural_ , below that was a number, an email and an address. Despite his better judgment, he pocketed the card. _You never know._

***

Dean almost didn’t call. He almost threw away the card. He almost did. But he still hadn’t found a decent job. Meanwhile, the rent would be due soon, and his other bills were starting to pile up. So he caved and called Crowley.

“Hello?”

“Dean.” The English voice on the other end didn’t sound remotely surprised, and boy did it tick him off.

“How did you-”

“I knew you would call, Dean. Everyone does.”

“Uh-huh… Well, if you haven’t filled the position…”

“Come to the address on the card at noon. Ask for me, and I’ll give you the tour.” He didn’t wait for an answer before hanging up, and Dean was left in dead silence. It was already past eleven by the time Dean had dressed, gave an excuse to Jo about needing to go to the store and got in his car. The drive there was spent in a quiet fight between whether or not he should really go through with it. He needed the money, true, but was this really the way? Bobby _had_ offered to help if he needed it. No. He needed to learn to do something for himself, get a job himself, and he would.

Despite what may take place inside Supernatural, the outside looked… Elegant; as far as strip clubs go. There were no neon lights flashing, or half naked women painted on the walls. Inside, there was a bar lining one wall, with a few doors behind and beside it. On the wall opposite it, there was a large stage, and strip going through the room. A short, lean guy wearing white booty-shorts (for lack of a better word) and small white angel wings was parading around the stage. Two girls, one with long blonde hair and one with shorter, curly brown hair, were dancing on each side of him. They were each wearing white and angel wings too. Men, and women, sat in chairs around the stage tossing bills up at the trio, which they collected happily.

Throughout the room were tables and chairs, people drinking and gawking at the dancers. Some were even getting lap dances. On Dean’s left side was a large door, a sign above it proclaiming _Hell._ Several feet away was another door, the same size, labeled _Heaven._ On the opposite wall, to his right, was a third and final door, called _Purgatory._ Dean was left wondering what they were for.

He found himself wandering towards the bar. A tall guy was handing a skimpily dressed woman a martini as Dean approached. “What can I get for you?”

“I was told to ask for Crowley.” Dean replied.

“You must be Dean.”

“You know me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I overheard Crowley and Abaddon discussing a new recruit. That must be you.” Dean nodded. “I’ll go get Crowley. He should be in the back. I’m Gadreel, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Gadreel.” _What is with the names in this town?_ He wondered to himself as Gadreel left the bar. Dean sat on one of the barstools, peering around the club. The dancers had vacated the stage, and a new one, dressed as a vampire, had come out. He was met with applause and cheers. Clearly a popular dancer. Two girls followed him out as well; both dressed as vampires, both with dark brown hair.

“Dean.”

“Crowley.” He stood from his seat, coming face to face with the English man. Beside him stood a tall redhead. “Who’s this?”

“This is Abaddon. She’s my… Partner. And finance manager.”

“He finds the talent and runs this place, I handle the money.” Abaddon said. “I just came to check out the fresh meat. Make sure you’re worth my money.” She circled him, her eyes raking him in a hungry, almost malicious way. “He’s handsome, he’d fit in well here… But I might need a better look.” She gave him a pointed look towards his chest. He had put on several layers before coming, and he didn’t know if he blamed her. He wouldn’t want to pay for a flabby stripper.

“Come with me.” Crowley led them into the _Hell_ room. There were a few seats, all different sizes and shapes, circling a small stage, a pole positioned in the center. Hands belonging to Abaddon were pulling off his jacket, his plaid over shirt, his t-shirt, and then his undershirt.

“Why so many layers, Dean? You’re hiding such a handsome body.” Her fingers raked over his chest. “Handsome boy. I approve.” She smirked. “I’ve got things to attend to, but I’m sure Crowley can show you around.” Without waiting for an answer, she was gone.

Crowley eyed him. “You can get dressed again.” Dean was happy to comply. “You’ll work from 10 pm to 2 am Monday through Wednesday, you'll get Thursdays off, but you'll work 10 pm to 4:30 am Saturdays and Sundays, and you’ll be working every other Friday as our demon for Judgment Day.” Dean furrowed his brow. _Judgment Day?_ “You've really never heard of this club?” Dean shook his head.

“Our club is famous for two reasons. One, we live up to our name. Our dancers are _supernaturally_ attractive, and the best dancers out there. Two, we have our very own Judgment Day every Friday. The week’s alternate between our ladies and our gentlemen, as far as Judgment Day goes.” He led Dean outside, into the main room.

“We have three rooms, with three main dancers. Every Friday, we pick three lucky people, and they are _judged_. They either get sent to heaven,” he pointed, “with Samandriel, our little angel. Or Purgatory,” he pointed, “with Benny, our favorite vampire. Or Hell,” he pointed, “which is where you’ll be. Our new demon.” A large grin split across his face. “You’ll be working every other Judgment Day, which will be when we have our male dancers on display. You will do three private shows for the judged, one from 12 to 12:15, one from 2 to 2:15, and one from 4 to 4:15.

“As well as dancing, you’ll be giving lap dances when requested, as well as private dances if I get a good enough offer. So, what do you say? It’s good money, I take good care of my dancers, you don’t have to do anything you’re unsure about. It’s a good gig.”

Dean thought hard about it. It _was_ good money. And he _did_ need it. “I’ll do it.”

“Good. I’ll have a schedule printed up for you.” He walked Dean back to the bar. “Gadreel, keep him company. I’ll be back in a few moments.”

“Welcome to the team.” Gadreel laughed. “Here comes Benny.” The man who had been dressed as a vampire was now fangless, and instead of his costume, he wore jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a thin black jacket.

“Gadreel.” Benny gave the bartender a nod. “Who’s this?” Benny had a thick Cajun accent.

“I’m Dean.” He stuck his hand out, and Benny shook it.

“He’s Dick’s replacement.” Gadreel informed the dancer.

Benny nodded. “Dick know that?” By the look on Gadreel’s face, Dick did _not_ know that. “I don’t envy you, brother.” He patted Dean on the shoulder. “Good luck. Have you seen Andrea around? We’re supposed to go head out after our shift.”

“No. Sorry.” Gadreel gave him a smile. “Are you ever going to marry that girl?”

“One of these days.” One of the girls who had been at Benny’s side during their performance was approaching them. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a long braid, and she wore a white blouse and dark blue skirt.

“Hello boys.” She gave them a wave, pulling Benny around and into a kiss. “Ready to go?”

“Of course,” he kissed her again, their hands locking together. “See you tomorrow.” He nodded again to Gadreel. “Nice to meet you, Dean.” The couple left.

“How does that work?” Dean asked.

“How does what work?”

“Being in a relationship, and still dancing. Don’t they, you know, get jealous?”

“Maybe some people. But not them. I’ve never seen two people more perfect for each other.” Dean was about to reply when Crowley reappeared.

“You’ll start tomorrow.” He was handed a print-out of the schedule he had been told by Crowley.

“Thanks.” He said goodbye to the two men before leaving the club. When he returned to the apartment, Jo had questioned his lack of groceries, but Dean had made up an excuse about long check-out lines. Dean tucked his paper somewhere it wouldn’t be found by wandering roommates, and took a deep breath. Just like that, he had a job.


	4. And It All Falls Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thinks about the last month. Castiel goes out with his brothers for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry it has taken so long to update. Also, super sorry this chapter isn't as long as they usually are. I've been really busy with making up exams and things, as well as some personal matters that interfered with my writing. I'm going to try and get the next chapter out ASAP, but in a little over a week, I'll be starting my freshman year of highschool, and I have to get things ready for that, so I'll be busy. However, I will try to get the next chapter out quickly. Comments and kudos are cherished, and motivate me to get things done faster. Thank you all for all your support! Enjoy!

Dean had been working for Supernatural for almost a month, and despite the nature of the job, he found himself enjoying it. Sure, it was a bit degrading; parading himself around for money, but soon it became a regular part of his life in Denver. He was settling himself into an easy pattern, and he had to admit that he was liking it.

The job itself was almost flattering, given the amount of money people were willing to pay to get a look at him shirtless, and how after only a matter of weeks, he was a crowd favorite. Despite having knocked Benny off of the top slot, the two were quickly becoming best friends. Dean wished that he could introduce Benny to his roommates, but that would mean that he had to either come clean about his job, or lie even more. He chose to do neither.

Dean had managed to convince his friends that he was working at an all-night supermarket, and had been given the graveyard shift, which cleared up the question of his new job. Of course, if they knew how much he was getting paid, maybe they would be more suspicious. As it was, his three roommates respected his wishes and stayed away for the alleged supermarket, lest they realize he wasn’t actually working there.

He tried not to think of the lies he was constantly telling; to his roommates, his parents, even Sammy. They all thought he was working at some supermarket, while he was really stripping in front of adoring crowds. If they knew… Dean didn’t want to think about that.

So every Friday night, while he and his roommates were watching movies and eating take-out (a new tradition for them), he would run through his moves in his mind, checking his watch every so often so he wouldn’t be late. Meanwhile, they were oblivious, and that’s how they were going to stay, Dean thought.

In hindsight, maybe Dean should have anticipated the demise of it all.

***

“Are you all sure that you’re busy tonight?” It was the 17th of September, the night before Castiel’s 20th birthday, and he was going into full-on panic mode.

Dean gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Cas, I mean it, I do-”

“But you have to work.” Cas promptly cut in.

“Yes. I’m sorry, man, but I promise to make it up to you tomorrow. You know, on your actual birthday.” To be perfectly honest, he’d love to take Cas out for a night on the town, but it was a Friday. That meant it was a Judgment Day at Supernatural, and that meant a big night of earnings. He made two times what he usually did, during these Judgment Days. He literally couldn’t afford to miss it.

“Yeah, yeah…” Cas muttered, shooting a pathetic look to the ladies.

“Sorry, babe, but we’ve got an exam in Professor Sands’ class first thing Monday, and we can’t afford to fail.” Charlie patted his hand as Jo made her way into the kitchen for a beer. Dean had to hand it to the ladies; they were as good of liars as he was. In truth, they were going out to get supplies for Cas’ surprise birthday party.

“You all suck, just so you know.” He flopped facedown onto the couch, sending his sketchpad and pencils flying.

“What’s the big deal, dude?” Dean asked. “Your birthday is tomorrow, and we’ll all do something then.”

Castiel’s voice, slightly muffled by the couch, sounded truly pathetic. “My brothers have decided to take me out tonight, since Balthazar is only going to be here for a couple of days. They won’t tell me where, but knowing them, it won’t me good. I’ll be lucky if I don’t spend my birthday in jail.”

Dean laughed. “If it’s that big of a deal, call them and tell ‘em you’re sick.”

“I already tried,” he groaned, “He threatened to ‘bring the party to me’ but I’d rather keep the apartment in one piece.”

“I don’t see the problem,” Jo chimed in. “Go out, have a few drinks, go a little wild, then you can go back to your nerdy praying ways.” The blonde pushed his legs off of the couch as she spoke, provoking a string of curses from Castiel.

“No thank you,” Cas said tersely. “A couple of drinks aren’t possible with Gabe and Balthazar.”

“They can’t possibly be _that_ bad,” Charlie said from her Star Wars beanbag.

A humorless laugh left Castiel’s mouth. “That is where you are wrong, Ms. Bradbury.”

Charlie opened her mouth to respond when she was cut off by a series of knocks at their door. “Cassie, dear. It’s your brother,” there was a pause. “No, not the annoying, candy-filled one. The attractive, out-of-town one, who flew in from the UK for your birthday. The least you could do is op-Oh, hello Castiel,” the British voice said pleasantly.

Castiel didn’t invite his brother in before mumbling, “Let’s go,” and pulling his brother towards the parking lot. From his seat in the living room, Dean didn’t get a good look at the ‘attractive, out-of-town, brother’ and vice versa. As Dean later learned, that was a good thing.

***

This night was like any other at Supernatural. He started out by doing a simple set with Meg 1 and Meg 2 (as he had started calling them), followed by doing another set with Benny and Alfie (he hated calling Samandriel ‘Samandriel’ so he went with the kid’s middle name), the three would stand in the middle of the stage as Crowley picked three people to be ‘judged’.

Benny stood in the middle of the stage, with Alfie on one side and Dean on the other. Benny was wearing his usual vampire attire, while Alfie wore his angel one. Dean costume was almost the exact as Alfie’s, though he wore horns instead of wings, and black instead of white.

Crowley was positioned beside the bar, a microphone in his hand. “Welcome to Supernatural, ladies and gents. As many of you know, every Friday night, we pick three lucky patrons to be judged.” Crowley paused, perhaps for dramatic effect. “Let’s see who’s first, shall we?” The crowd cheered, a spotlight scanning the crowd.

From his position on stage, he could barely make out the form of a skinny lady wearing a bright pink dress exclaim in glee as the spotlight landed on her. “Lucky lady,” Crowley grinned, “have fun in… Heaven!” He called. Alfie flashed a smile, dropping from the stage and moving to escort the women to ‘Heaven’.

The spotlight went into motion again, landing on a woman in cheetah print. “Benny! A little help over here?” Benny ran forward, doing a flip off the stage (show-off) and swept the women into his arms, carrying her toward ‘Purgatory’ over his shoulder.

The audience grew quiet in anticipation, each person wanting to be with Dean. What could he say? He was a crowd pleaser. As the light stopped, the lucky person was chosen and sent to ‘Hell’. Usually, he preferred to not know until the moment of. It allowed him to have a sense of adventure, and this time was no different. Dean turned and walked backstage, running a comb through his hair as he walked, and adjusted his horns.

Throwing open the curtains separating ‘Hell’ and backstage, he sauntered in. “Welcome to Hell, maggot.” He looked up, eyes landing on the man before him. He faltered. “Cas?” And just like that, everything crumpled.


	5. And So The Story Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of Castiel's night are revealed. Dean and Cas talk about his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, to make up for the extreme lack of chapters in the last month, I'm publishing this one super early, and I'm going to try and get the next one out today or tomorrow. The key word being 'try'. I did the first part in Castiel's POV, before moving back into Dean's. All comments and kudos are appreciated. Enjoy!

_“Where are we going?” It was the 37 th (yes he was counting) time Castiel had asked since getting into Gabriel’s car with his two brothers. Once again, he got the same answer. _

_“You’ll see when we get there.” Gabriel had grinned mischievously._

_He turned to Balthazar pleadingly, but the older man just shook his head. “No can do, Cassie, dear. Gabriel has warned me that if I were to tell you our plans, he would, as he so delicately put it, cut off my manhood with a rusty spoon.”_

_“Hell yes, I will.” Gabriel said with a grin._

_“Sorry, Castiel.” Balthazar didn’t look that sorry at all._

_“Yeah, sure…” He mumbled, turning to look out of the window. Trees and shrubbery flew past their car, at a possibly over-the-speed-limit rate. Wherever they were going, Gabriel was excited, that was for sure._

_After a few more moments, they turned into a parking lot in front of a crisp white building. **Supernatural** , proclaimed a sign. Gabriel began giggling girlishly, and Balthazar rolled his eyes. “What are you, twelve?”_

_Supernatural? What kind of place were they taking him? “What, are we gonna go fight some ghosts?” Castiel inquired, smirking slightly._

_“Was he always this sassy?” Gabriel teased._

_“No, I must say, those roommates of his must be rubbing off on him.” They continued their conversation as though Castiel wasn’t simply sitting in the backseat._

_“Can we just get this over already?” He snapped, pulling their attention to him._

_“Sir, yes, sir.” Gabriel gave him a mock-salute, before climbing from the car. The three of them walked towards the building, weaving in between each of the cars in the packed parking lot. Cas could almost swear he saw Dean’s impala, but he marked it off as a coincidence. Dean was at work, not at whatever this place is._

_Once inside, it came crashing down on Cas just where he was. “A_ strip club _?” He asked incredulously. "Are you two kidding me?”_

_Gabriel gave him a shit-eating grin. “Come on, Cassie. You’re twenty now! Have a little fun for once.” Castiel wanted to point out that his birthday was the next day, meaning he was still 19, but restrained himself, lest they make another comment about him changing. Gabe and Balthazar led him to a table as close to the stage as possible. Gabriel pouted about the fact that the tip rail was filled._

_Up on stage, an upbeat song played as a thin guy wearing white wings, clingy short shorts and a halo spun himself around on a pole. Two women, decked out in short skirts and white bras, as well as wings and halos, flanked him. On the right was a blonde, her hair long and straight. On the left was a shorter girl, her hair long, brown and wavy. At the end of the song, another man came out to replace the first, fangs protruding from his mouth and dark green shorts on. Two females, both with curly dark hair, were on either side, wearing almost identical costumes as the girls before, yet theirs were dark green to match the man’s._

_Gabriel forced some shots down Castiel’s throat with the reluctant help of Balthazar. “You. Can’t. Have. Fun. If. You’re. Sober.” The shorter man grunted as the forced the drink into his younger brother’s mouth._

_“Screw you, Gabe,” he said, though he lacked malice._

_“Definitely feistier than I remember,” Balthazar commented offhandedly._

_“Screw you t-” He stopped as his eyes fell on the newest dancer._ Dean. _He was shirtless, both of his arms around the waists of two girls. One had a short blonde bob, the other had shoulder-length, curly brown hair. Dean was smirking, his eyes bright in the dim lighting of the room. His shorts were black, and quite frankly, covered almost nothing._

_Once his arms were free of the ladies, who were working the stage, he marched towards the pole, reaching out and grabbing the pole with conviction. The way his body moved, it was as though he had done it his whole life. The ladies returned to his side, and Castiel swallowed hard. They moved in perfect unison, dancing with and against each other, moving their bodies in ways that would make anyone ask for more._

_Cas watched as Dean dipped and displayed his back for the world to see. Men and women alike whistled and cheered, and Dean just smiled even harder. “See something you like, Cassie?” Balthazar’s voice snapped him out of his haze._

_“Wh-what?” He sputtered, too shocked to see his roommate and best friend parading around for anyone with a quick buck._

_Gabriel grinned. “I’ll be back.” He winked at Balthazar, before disappearing._

_“What’s he doing?” Cas demanded._

_Balthazar smiled smugly, and shrugged. “Sorry, but I’m on strict orders to keep you in the dark.” He placed a hand on Cas’ arm. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fun.”_

_Castiel’s stomach plummeted. “I need to go to the bathroom.” He blurted, practically running from the table. The bathroom was one of those fancy modern ones, with blue lights and sleek sinks. He stood in front of the mirror, splashing water on his face._ Dean’s a- _He couldn’t finish the sentence._

_It wasn’t that he was angry, or upset, but more shocked than anything. Okay, so maybe he was a little pissed that Dean had been lying to him for who-knows-how-long about what his job was. He took a deep breath, recalling the image of Dean working the stage._

_His chest was chiseled, slightly sweaty and wet from dancing, but hot all the same. And when he moved, his ass looked like it had been created by God himself._ No _, he thought sternly,_ that is your _roommate._ You cannot think of him that way.

_He straightened his shirt, wiped his slightly sweating hands on his jeans, and pushed himself out of the door of the bathroom. When he arrived back at the table, Balthazar and Gabriel were whispering, and the first two men had replaced Dean’s female counterparts for a song. Eventually, the songs were dulled out, and the three men-Dean included- took to the middle of the stage._

_The vampire stood to the front, crouching, in what was probably a vampire-like fashion. On the right was the angel, dangling from a pole by one hand and a leg hooked around it. To the left was Dean, his arms crossed, leaning against his pole as though he had better things to do. Cas was left wondering if it was an act or not._

_“Welcome to Supernatural, ladies and gents. As many of you know, every Friday night, we pick three lucky patrons to be judged.” Cas turned in his seat to see a short, portly man wearing a suit, holding a microphone as he stood beside the bar. “Let’s see who’s first, shall we?” The crowd cheered, a spotlight scanning the crowd._

_The pit in Castiel’s stomach grew as soon as he saw the sinister look on Gabriel’s face._ He didn’t. _From his seat, Castiel could hear squealing as the spotlight stopped. “Lucky lady,” the announcer grinned, “have fun in… Heaven!” The angel dropped from the stage, took the woman’s hand, and led her to Heaven._

_The spotlight started up again, and stopped once more. “Benny! Little help over here?” The vampire flipped off of the stage, grabbed the women, slung her over his shoulder, and carried her off._

_By now the crowd was silent, and Gabriel looked like he was going to burst._ No. _The spotlight landed… On him. “You’re welcome,” Gabriel said, a shit-eating grin covering his face._

_“Y-you didn’t,” Castiel felt panicky, like he couldn’t breathe. How was he supposed to explain that to Dean?_

_“I did.” The two ladies from Dean’s set came over, each grabbing one of his arms, and leading him to Hell._ Well, at least they got the name right, _he thought._

_The demons sat him on a plush couch, before leaving through a curtain. Not a minute later, Dean was sauntering through, horns slightly crooked. “Welcome to Hell, maggot.” His eyes looked up, meeting Castiel’s. “Cas?” Dean looked at him in shock before turning and running back through his curtain._

_“Dean!” He called, going to run after him before he was stopped by the brunette demon._

_She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know what you just did, but stay away from him. Okay?” He nodded numbly as she wrapped her small hand around his upper arm, leading him back into the main room. “I hope you enjoyed your stay here at_ Supernatural, _but please take your friends,” she pointed to his brothers, “and leave.” Without waiting for a response, she left._

_Castiel wandered to his brothers, who gave him odd looks, but didn’t say anything until they were in the car. “Okay, what the hell happened?” Gabriel asked. “I paid good money for that, and you threw it away!”_

_“Why would you do that?” Castiel asked, suddenly filled with anger._

_“Please, Cassie, we saw the way you were practically salivating over him.” Balthazar cut in._

_“You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.” Gabriel added._

_“You-”_

_“SHUT UP!” Cas snapped. “I didn’t even want to come out tonight and then you two assholes made me and now you’ve ruined everything!”_

_He tried to ignore the hurt look on their faces as Gabriel pulled out of the parking lot. The entire ride was silent until they parked outside of Castiel’s apartment complex. “We know how hard your birthday is… And we just wanted to make it okay for once,” Gabriel said quietly._

_“Look, I’m so-” Cas began but was cut off._

_“We get it.” Balthazar interjected. “See you around, Castiel.” Cas noticed the lack of his nickname, but he forced himself to leave the car._

_“Bye.” He said, before heading to his apartment._ You mess everything up _, he thought morbidly._

_***_

After running from ‘Hell’, Dean had gone back to the green room, where the dancers hung out while waiting for their sets. He quickly changed, grabbed his keys and nearly ran into Benny on his way out. “Hey, brother, what happened? The Megs told me you ran off after your private dance…” The concern in his eyes twisted Dean’s gut in guilt.

“I think I’m getting sick,” Dean lied. It was an obvious lie, he had been on top of his game all night, but Benny went along with it.

“I thought I saw you throwing up earlier.” The look in his eyes showed that he knew that Dean was full of shit, but he knew something was up and would cover for him.

“Thanks, man.” Benny gave him a half-hug, allowing him to exit out the back door. He didn’t want to see those crowds of people leering at him, not tonight.

He walked quickly through the back alley, making his way to the parking lot and his Baby. He drove in silence, running through the situation in his mind. When he got to the apartment, he would have to pack up and leave. Cas knew about his job and surely wouldn’t want a stripper living in his midst. He was so angry at himself. He should have anticipated this. He should have known better. God, he was such an idiot.

Coming to a screeching halt in front of his building, he made his way to his room, where he started gathering up his old boxes. He decided to put everything important into them and come back for the rest another time. He was still packing when the door to the apartment slammed shut. _Crap._ He silently prayed for Jo or Charlie so he could make up some excuse and get the hell out of there, but no such luck.

Cas was in his doorway a minute later. “Dean?” The blonde man couldn’t read his expression. He couldn’t wage whether or not Cas was pissed. Of course, he had to be. Dean had lied for a month, and he was a stripper. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be out by morning, promise.”

“Why would you do that?” Cas tilted his head, looking like a confused puppy.

“It’s fine, dude. I get it. I wouldn’t want to live with someone who stripped for money, either.” Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Of course, if you had asked a few weeks ago, maybe it would’ve been. He threw the last of his crap into a bag and made to leave when he felt a hand on his chest stopping him. Swallowing hard, he looked up to meet Castiel’s eyes.

“Dean. I never told you to leave.”

“You… You don’t want me to leave?” He felt a wave of relief as Castiel shook his head.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Dean, I am pissed,” _Shit._ “But not because you’re a… You know,” Dean nodded, “I’m angry because I thought we were friends and you lied to me.”

Dean sighed and dropped his bag back onto his bed. He wiped a hand down his face tiredly. “I’m sorry… I just… I-I didn’t know how you would react and I didn’t want to risk it.” He paused before sitting down. “Are we cool?”

Cas chuckled, the skin around his eyes crinkling with his laughter. “Yes, Dean. We are… Cool.” He turned to leave.

“Hey, Cas?” The man in question turned back, eyebrows lifted in question. “Just for the sake of keeping secrets from our friendship… Charlie and Jo are throwing you a surprise party tomorrow.”

His mouth dropped open slightly. “I hate surprises.”

“I told them.”

Suddenly, he eyes lit up, like he had an idea. “Can you invite my brothers?”

“But you sa-”

“Yes, I know what I said but can you just invite them?”

“If you want man… Give me their numbers.”

“Oh, and I suppose I should invite my sister. She might be upset if I don’t.”

“Sure thing, dude.” Three phone calls and forty minutes later, the three Novak’s had agreed to come to their apartment for an impromptu surprise party. “Dude, how many siblings do you have?” Dean leaned against Castiel’s doorframe, eyeing the raven-haired man drawing in his sketchpad. It seemed like he was always drawing in there. Dean wanted more than anything to see what was so pressing that it needed to be drawn in such haste, and hidden the moment Dean opened his mouth.

“Seven,” Cas said, as though that was perfectly normal.

“Seven? How is that even possible?”

“We’re not all biologically related. I only have three biological brothers, two half siblings, and the other two are step-siblings.”

“Care to elaborate?” Cas sighed, opening his sketchbook, and Dean was almost sure he was going to ignore him before the shorter man turned to a fresh page and motioned for Dean to sit beside him. Dean did and Castiel began.

He draw small circle at the top of the paper and labeled it ‘Christo’. “My father, Christo, was married to my mom, Eve, when they had Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel and I.”

“Lucifer?”

“We are all named after angels, like I told you before. Lucifer _was_ an angel, before God cast him out of heaven.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep going.”

“Anyway, Lucifer and Michael are twins, currently 26. Gabriel is 24. And then there’s me. 19-er, 20.” He marked everything down on the paper.  “My mom… She died, so my dad married Balthazar’s mom a year or so later. They eventually got a divorce and she took Balthazar, 20, to the UK with her. He still comes back to visit for most holidays and birthdays when he can.

“A couple years later, my dad married Naomi, who had just gotten a divorce with her husband, Zachariah. She already a daughter, Anael, who’s also studying at DU and she’s 21.” He made a last few adjustments. “And lastly, there’s Inias and Hester, who’re 9.”

“Jeez… Your family’s… Big.” Dean and Cas chuckled.

“Yeah, you could say that.” He looked over to Dean, studying his face. “Are you going to get in trouble for ditching work?”

Dean flopped backwards onto Castiel’s bed. “Nah… Benny said he’d cover for me.”

“That’s nice of him…” Castiel tapped on his knee. “Do you like your job?”

So there it was. Cas really _couldn’t_ live with him stripping, could he? He was going to ask him to quit, wasn’t he? “I don’t know, man, but… It pays, like, really well, man. Like insanely good money, and it’s not even hard. I’m… I’m good at it, okay?” _I’m not good at much of anything, but I’m good at this._ Dean left that part out.

“Okay.” Cas gave him a soft smile.

“Okay?”

“Yeah… If you like it, who am I to ask you to stop? I don’t own you… You’re not hurting anyone… I say, go on ahead.”

Dean hugged him for that. “Thank you, Cas.” And just like that, Dean knew he had a new best friend named Castiel.


	6. Party Rockers In The House (Apartment) Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an eventful night for Dean and his roommates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Once again, I love hearing from you all! I appreciate all comments, good or bad. :)

Dean spent most of his Saturdays lounging around in the apartment, usually in the company of Charlie or Jo or Cas. However, on the morning of Castiel’s 20th birthday, Dean found himself in front of the club which he worked. The crisp white building, labeled _Supernatural_ , loomed in front of him, an imposing and threatening enemy.

After telling Castiel about his job, Castiel had agreed to cover for him when he went to the club to ask for the night off. The raven-haired man in question was standing at his side, a reassuring smile on his face. “Ready?”

Since his arrival at _Supernatural_ , Dean had never asked for a night off, never missed a set or left early. Well, not counting the previous night, when Dean had run after seeing Castiel. Of course, Benny had supposedly covered for him, claiming that he had a stomach bug or something of the sorts.

Dean escorted Cas to the back entrance, which was mostly used by the dancers instead of the front one. He told his roommate to wait in the dressing room, not-so-cleverly called the Green Room, given the color paint on the walls.

Benny was on stage when Dean went into the main show room, moving past the bar where Gadreel was serving a couple of tipsy blondes. Gadreel gave him a concerned look, but didn’t say anything in regards to the previous night. Dean continued on until he reached Crowley’s office, knocking twice. “Who is it?” Called a voice from within the office.

“It’s Dean, sir.”

“Come in, Dean.” Crowley’s voice was tired, and he had the looks to match it. Dark circles crowded under his eyes, his hair askew. “What can I do for you?”

Confused, Dean tilted his head in a very Cas-like manner. “I-uh, I just wanted to say sorry for skipping out last night.”

Crowley nodded. “Yes, well, I am too.” Dean furrowed his brow. “I’ll have to give you a warning, Dean. Skip out on your shift again, and I won’t be as pleasant.”

 _This is pleasant?_ Dean thought, but considered it wisest not to comment. His feet shifted awkwardly. “I’m sorry, sir, I… I think I’m getting sick.”

“Yes, that’s what Benny said.” He leaned forward in his seat, looking Dean in the eye. “Are you positive you’re sick?” Dean nodded. “You’re off the clock for the next week. Get better. And when you come back, make sure you have your crap together. Now, get out of my office.” He snapped. Dean did as he was told, practically running from the room.

He paused at the bar, accepting the drink that was slid his way. “He didn’t fire you, did he?” Gadreel looked genuinely concerned.

“No. Well, he suspended me. I’m gone for the rest of the week.”

“Yeah, well, ever since you took off last night, he’s been on the war path. There have been casualties.” He chuckled. “You cost him a good bit of money last night.”

“Yeah, well, I had good reason.”

“I sure hope so.” The bartender turned away to serve a different club-goer, and Dean went back to the Green Room. Meg 2 (the brunette) was seated on Castiel’s lap, who looked increasingly uncomfortable.

She smiled when Dean walked in. “You didn’t tell me you lived with such a hottie.”

“Leave him alone,” he said tiredly. Benny walked in after that, all sweat and tight shorts.

“I was just apologizing for being so rude last night,” she pouted. “We got off to a rough start. I sure from now on, things will be _much_ smoother,” she rubbed her hand down his thigh.

“Meg.” Dean sighed. Although reluctantly, she got off Castiel’s lap, muttering, “have it your way, Winchester.”

“Hey, Benny,” Dean clapped him on the shoulder. “Cas here,” he pointed. “is turning 20 today and my roommates and I are throwing him a party. He said it was cool if you stopped by.”

Benny shrugged. “I’ll see if Andrea has anything planned, but yeah, count me in.”

“Oh, and, if anyone asks, we met at a coffee shop downtown. I haven’t exactly mentioned to anyone besides Cas that I’m dancing here.”

“Okay.” The older guy smiled again, giving a nod and a ‘happy birthday’ to Castiel, before departing to change.

Dean turned to Cas, a smile fresh on his face, despite being taken off of the schedule for a week. That would put a major dent in his wallet. Luckily, he had already taken care of his share of the rent this month, so that wasn’t an issue. Even so, he had the night off now, and he was determined to enjoy it.

“Ready to go, birthday boy?”

“Please stop calling me that,” Cas said, though he followed without question.

“You love it.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“You love me.” Dean’s face burned bright when he realized what he had just said.

Castiel, however, didn’t miss a beat. “You wish.” Then they were sliding into the car and driving back to Dean’s apartment, an easy banter falling between them. Dean hadn’t had many friends in his life. He hadn’t gotten close to too many people, given you didn’t count his family. But even so, things had never been _this_ easy with any of them. Cas gave him a new level of comfort that he hadn’t felt since Alistair, even if he didn’t realize it at the time. Cas gave him what he had lacked since Alistair. A sense of safety. Even if Dean would never say it out loud.

***

The party was major for all four of its hosts, however in drastically different ways. It started at 8, when Cas and Dean returned to find Jo and Charlie decorating. They had no other chance but to come clean, and smack Dean on the arm for not arriving back with Cas when he was supposed to. It was a mere ten minutes later, when a steady flow of patrons began filling the apartment.

Dean saw Chuck, whom he had mentioned the party to a week earlier, a peppy blonde plastered to his side. Dean saw Benny, and Andrea, who had brought Gadreel along, with the promise to lie about how they knew each other. Unfortunately for him, he spotted Meg sneaking in the door a few seconds later. “Meg,” he practically growled. “What are you doing here?”

“I overheard you talking with your boyfriends, and thought I’d see what the buzz is about.”

“How do you know where I live?”

She shrugged, a sly smile slinking across her mouth. “I have my ways.”

“If you’re going to stay, nobody can know how we met.”

“You mean that you’re a-” He grabbed her arm, sending her a warning look. “Fine. God. Where’s that blue-eyed cutie from earlier?”

“Busy.” The truth of the matter was, Dean didn’t know where his friend had snuck off to. After Gabriel had arrived, Dean had gone into hiding, lest he be recognized by the Novak brothers. Meg rolled her eyes, leaving Dean alone, probably to go find Cas.

He wandered around the party, grabbing a couple of drinks as he went, and slowly getting more wasted. Around 11, he spotted Meg once more, her arms wrapped around a thin figure. Wait a second… Cas? A feeling similar to that of jealousy ripped through Dean. He convinced himself it was that Cas was scoring and he wasn’t, and set off to find a conquest of his own.

A target in sight, a pretty redhead with big hazel eyes, Dean ran a hand through his hair. He approached her, offering her a drink, which she gladly accepted. It wasn’t ten minutes before they were making out and Dean was convincing her to pay a visit to his car. _What?_ He didn’t want her knowing where he lived! She could get _clingy._

Dean’s night was looking up.

***

_“Gabe. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday.” Gabriel waved him off._

_“I meant what I said. Balth and I know how hard your birthday is, not just for you either, kiddo, and we wanted you to have some fun.” He gave him a small hug. “Okay?”_

_“Okay.” Cas returned Gabe’s smile, before wandering off. He had been with his brothers for over an hour, and he honestly needed a break. There was only so much shameless flirting Cas could watch his brothers do before he snapped._

_“Heya Clarence,” drawled a voice from behind him._

_“Meg,” he said, as pleasantly as he could. The female in question was clearly drunk, her stagger slightly off as she came toward him. Nothing but a tiny jean skirt and a purple tank top covered her. “How are you to-”_

_He was cut off as Meg pressed her lips to his, practically eating his face. With her arms wrapped as tightly around him as they were, it was way too long before he could fend her off. “Why did you do that?” He asked, anger overcoming him. This was his_ birthday _. How_ dare _she come here and stick her tongue down his mouth. He didn’t need it, didn’t want it, not today and not ever._

_She giggled, before dropping into his arms, clearly passing out. He didn’t feel the least bit bad dropping her to the floor and going to his room for the night._

_***_

**Charlie had never been one for parties. They always made her feel uncomfortable, out of place, and overall… Weird. Especially during her and Jo’s senior year and Jo would drag her to one of the popular girls’ parties, where the hot girls made out with the hot guys and everyone else was extra. She always hated these, because Jo would take off with some asshole, who would leave her the morning after.**

**And who would pick up the pieces? Charlie. And why? As she sat on her couch, surrounding by people claiming to be friends with Castiel, she pondered this. Why was she always there for Jo, even when Jo had been kind of a crappy friend?**

**And that’s when that annoying little voice in her head chimed in. ‘ _You’re in love with her,’_ it said. ‘ _Can it,’_ she thought in response, though it was no use. It was true. **

**For as long as she could remember, she had had a crush on Jo Harvelle. Her best friend with the shiny blonde hair and the gorgeous brown eyes and the warm smile. Her best friend who had sarcastically asked, ‘ _what, do you want a cookie?’_ when Charlie came out. Her best friend who had convinced her mother to adopt her when her own parents had died. Her best friend who had been there her entire life, who had supported her and cared about her _unconditionally. Oh God. She really was in love with her, wasn’t she?_**

**Currently, the blonde was standing across the room, flirting with a guy with arm tattoos. Charlie downed the rest of her cup, giving her with that extra bit of liquid courage she needed. She boldly stepped towards her, almost chickening out on the one yard line. “J-Jo?” She choked out.**

**Jo looked over at her, concern flitting across her expression. “Something wrong?”**

**“Can we talk?” She grimaced. _‘Man up, Bradbury!’_ “In private.” Jo followed her to her room and Charlie took a deep breath, before going for it. Without a second thought, she grabbed her best friend’s face and kissed her. **

*******

Jo wasn’t sure when her feelings for Charlie had started. Sure, she was able to ignore them, convincing herself that it wouldn’t happen. Sure, she could bury herself in guys and pretend they didn’t exist. But when it came down to it, she knew everything about her best friend. Her favorite television shows, movies, bands, foods, even toothpaste, everything. 

So when Jo had started seeing her as more than just a best friend, she had tried pushing her away. Not hanging out as much, not having as many sleepovers, but in the end, it hurt more than being her friend and knowing nothing more could come of it. So she went back to how things were before. 

However, in her senior year, when things weren’t changing for the better, Jo decided on a new tactic. Jealousy. She would drag Charlie to parties where the latter wouldn’t know anyone and flirt blatantly in front of her. She’d hook up with countless guys, in the hope that Charlie might man up and make a move. 

And after two years, her time paid off. She had picked her target carefully. He wasn’t _that_ ugly, she could stand sleeping with him. That, and the fact that he was positioned across the room from Charlie, a clear sight. She winked at the redhead, before strutting towards the man with arm tattoos. They had only been chatting for a few seconds before Charlie was on them, a strangled expression on her face. “J-Jo?” She choked out.

“Something wrong?” Jo asked. Obviously there was, or Charlie wouldn’t look like she was about to have a stroke. 

“Can we talk?” She glanced between Jo and Tattoo Man. “In private.” Jo nodded and followed her, not expecting what came next. As soon as they were in Charlie’s room, the redhead pushed her against the wall, pressing their lips together. _Yep. Definitely worth the effort._

And just like that, things were changing in Denver, Colorado. 


	7. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Jo talk about what their night will mean for them. Dean has to deal with the repercussions of his late-night escapade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I am SOOOO sorry it took so long for me to update. I've just started high school, so I'm taking all honors classes, not to mention classes like Algebra 2 and doing extra things like guitar and 2 different plays. Nevertheless, I don't have much time during the week so I'll try to update as much on the weekends as I can. :) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy. Don't forget to leave me some feedback, and let me know what you think! I love hearing from you all. (P.S. If anyone drew fanart for this, I would die.. You all have permission ;) so please do, or don't. whatevs I love you anyway just for putting up with me)

Dean woke up in the backseat of his car, the redhead from the past night gone, his clothes missing. He grinned to himself before redressing and leaving Baby. Back upstairs, the apartment was a complete disaster area. Empty cups and trash were strewn everywhere, and a couple stragglers were collecting their things and thanking him for a great night.

Dean knew he would need some strong coffee before he could deal with the mess before him. He was halfway through his first cup when Charlie ran out of her room, wearing one of Jo’s sweatshirts and what appeared to be a pair of booty-shorts. Her hair was mussed up, stray strands going everywhere. “Looks like we both had a productive night,” he smirked. “Who’s the lucky gal?”

Charlie looked very uncomfortable at the question, and a moment later, Dean found out why. Jo exited Charlie’s room, looking tired and slightly angry. “Charlie! We need to-oh,” she said awkwardly when she spotted him, “Morning, Dean.”

“I knew it,” was all he said before leaving them. He was exhausted, and he would need at least another couple hours of sleep before he could handle the complicated messes that were his roommates.

Of course, when he got to his room, he received an unexpected shock. “Cas?” His roommate was curled up on Dean’s bed, looking a bit like a cat.

At the sound of Dean’s voice, Cas jumped up. “Wha-” He blinked up at the Winchester. “‘S it morning?” he said groggily.

“Yes. So if you would, either move over or get out. You heard me Sleeping Beauty,” he nudged Castiel over, and the raven-haired man complied, but only after a short series of complaints.

Dean couldn’t help but think that he liked the feel of Castiel sleeping beside him, the warmth that came from his side, the soft sound of this breathing. If Cas noticed Dean slipping an arm around him while they slept, he said nothing.

***

The morning had gone quite differently for Charlie and Jo. Charlie had woken up first, and being the awkward person she was, she lay there watching Jo sleep for several minutes. The redhead interlaced their fingers with one hand and used the other to cup Jo’s face as she kissed her awake. The effect was less than desirable.

Jo, having taken several different forms of martial arts since she was a young girl, reacted on instinct. She punched out, clipping Charlie’s shoulder and she flipped herself on top of the girl. Charlie let out a yelp, jerking Jo awake.

“Crap, Charlie, I’m so sorry.” Giving her a sheepish smile, she rolled off of Charlie and onto the bed, resting her head on the pillow. “You shouldn’t surprise people like that…”

“I thought it would be romantic.” Charlie’s voice was quiet, muted by her own embarrassment.

At those words, Jo seemed to remember just what had happened the night before. “About last night,” Jo started.

The redhead took her tone to be regret, possibly even pity, which broke her heart. Of course it was a one-time thing. Jo didn’t want romance from her… She just wanted a quick hook-up. “We don’t have to talk about it,” she jumped up from the bed and grabbing some clothes, not bothering to see which were her’s and which were her best friend’s.

“Charlie!” But it was too late. Charlie was out the door in a second, nearly running into Dean. He had an amused expression on his face, his shirt was unbuttoned, and his clothes ruffled. “Looks like we both had a productive night,” he smirked. “Who’s the lucky gal?”

Charlie grimaced, swallowing hard. Jo probably wouldn’t want the events of the previous night being told around.

Jo exited Charlie’s room a second later, answering Dean’s question for her. “Charlie! We need to-oh,” she said awkwardly when she spotted him, “Morning, Dean.”

“I knew it,” was all he said before leaving them. Charlie wanted to race after him, anything to not be in that room alone with Jo, but she had to face her. Let her know it was okay that she didn’t feel the same way, that Charlie would get over it. Whatever it took to get them back to normal, Charlie would do it.

“Charlie,” Jo’s voice was pleading and Charlie forced herself to look at the blonde. “We need to t-”

“There’s nothing to say.” Charlie cut her off, more coldly than she had intended. “I know that you don’t feel the same way, and that’s fine.” Her throat practically closed. She hated lying more than anything, but she and Jo couldn’t be friends if Charlie didn’t fix this. No matter what it took. “Last night was a mistake, just like you said.”

“I never said that,” Jo said quietly, moving closer to Charlie. “If you would’ve let me finish, you would’ve heard me say that I enjoyed it. That… Maybe we should try that again. Or you know, go to the movies or something.” She smiled before adding, “somewhere with more clothing.”

“Oh,” was all Charlie could say. Lucky for her, Jo had a way with words. Or in this case, actions. Jo cupped her face gently, bringing their lips together in a breathless kiss. “We could do that,” Charlie said as they finally broke apart.

Jo laughed. “We ought to go tell Dean to get his stupid butt in here and clean up.”

“You grab Dean, I’ll get Cas?” Charlie suggested. Jo agreed and Charlie headed towards Cas’ room. Of course, her search turned up empty, but all that changed when they looked into Dean’s room.

Cas was practically curled into Dean chest, hand curled tightly around the fabric of Dean’s shirt. Meanwhile, Dean’s arm was around Cas, who wasn’t even wearing a shirt.

The two girls gave one another a knowing look, before going to clean the mess themselves.

***

Dean woke up later on, finding Cas still wrapped in his arms. At first, he contemplated going right back to sleep, but then realized what had woke him in the first place. The doorbell rang, once, twice, again and again.

He stretched as he stood, padding over to the front door of their apartment. Outside was the same redhead from the night before. “Hey… April…” He said, scrambling to remember the girl’s name. “What are you doing here?”

“First off,” she said coldly, “it’s Anna. And second, I could ask the same of you.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “Uh, no, you couldn’t. I live here.”

She glared accusingly at him. “Don’t be a jerk. I know you don’t. My brother does.”

As realization set in on them, they spoke at once, “Your brother is Cas?” and “Castiel is going to kill me.”

“Cas is going to kill you? I just slept with his sister!”

“I just slept with his best friend!” She replied hostilely. As much as he wanted to pursue the idea of him being Cas’ best friend, he had to focus on the task at hand.

“I say we don’t tell him.”

“You mean lie?” She asked incredulously. He nodded. She gave him a pained look. “I don’t like lying to Castiel…”

“Think of how mad he’ll be when he finds out what we did…”

“Ok fine! I won’t tell him.” It was barely a second before a third voice joined their duo.

“Dean? Who’s at the door?” Cas.

“Uh,” his eyes widened. “Just some chick claiming to know you. Probably from the party last night.”

Cas came closer, his eyes landing on Anna. “That’s my sister, Dean.” Dean stepped aside so Anna could come inside, and they shared a look. One that promised to keep their night a secret, if only to save their own skin.

**“Right man. I had no idea.” And just like that, Dean was lying to the man he considered his best friend.**


	8. The Past Is The Past, Or Is It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about Dean's past, and Anna tells Dean some worrisome news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So I am really, really, really, sorry for how long it took for me to write this chapter. I've been so busy with my two plays and all honors classes, and I'm so sorry. Fortunately, my major play is over, and in a week, my other play will be as well. That means I will hopefully have more time to write in the coming weeks. So yay! Haha I hope you all enjoy this chapter as you finally learn a little more about what happened with Alistair and Dean, and I really liked writing about that. Okay, that's all. Enjoy. P.S. I love hearing all of your comments and responses to that so keep on commenting. Yeah. Okay. That's all. Enjoy.

Dean Winchester had done a lot of bad things in his life. His misconducts over the years had ranged from minor misdemeanors like lying, to being the cause of the death of his first love. Of course, that is a story for another day. Lately, Dean had been struggling with the fact that he had slept with the sister of his best friend and roommate.

Technically, Anna was Castiel’s stepsister. But despite that, and the fact that he hadn’t know it at the time, he still felt like crap. Like he had stepped over a major line and if Castiel found out, well, Dean didn’t want to think like that.

So Dean went on with his life the best he could. He went back to work, picking up a few extra hours here and there, and paid more attention than usual in his classes. However, Dean started to spend less and less time with Cas. He found that spending time with Cas was becoming more and more hard, and Dean knew it was all his fault. If he hadn’t have slept with Anna, everything would have been fine. But he just couldn’t keep it in his pants, could he?

Even though the guilt was slowly killing him, he had managed to keep his and Anna’s nighttime rendezvous on the downlow. Dean should have known that he couldn’t keep up that facade forever. It was almost three weeks later when everything fell to pieces.

***

_“I love you, D-Dean. You know that, p-p-please, don’t l-leave me.” Dean’s heart clenched. How long had he waited to hear those words? Yet now, they didn’t matter._

_He wiped away the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “It’s too late, Alistair. I’m done.”_

_“I can’t live without you, Dean, please. I-I,” Alistair’s eyes jumped to the gun he always had sitting on that dumb wooden nightstand. Dean had never approved but, Alistair hadn’t felt safe around his house unless he had it with him. The Winchester would have done anything for his boyfriend, so he learned to just suck it up. “If you leave me,” Alistair’s voice was shaky. “I’ll blow my goddamn brains out, don’t think I won’t.”_

_Dean just shook his head. He was done living by Alistair’s terms, he was done being a pawn, just some toy for Alistair to play with. “Goodbye, Al.” Dean hadn’t waited for a response. He had just turned, taken a deep breath, and inhaled deeply. He counted the steps in his mind as he walked._

_“Dean… Dean! I’ll do it! DEAN!” Alistair’s screams rang out behind him as he closed the door. The blonde man paused just outside, almost wanting to go back inside. Without thinking, his hand reached up and skimmed over the bruises on his neck._

_He doesn’t love you. If he did, why would he have done that? The voice in his head said. Logic and reason told him to keep walking. Alistair didn’t love him, not really. If he did, he never really would have hurt Dean like he did. Dean tried to stop the aching feeling in his chest as he stumbled towards his car._

_He wasn’t prepared for the shot that echoed through the air a second later. The moment he heard it, he was running, towards the place he had just come from. Break up or not, Dean couldn’t stand the thought of Alistair hurt._

_Unfortunately, Dean was too late. Alistair lay on the floor, the gun still warm and dangling from his hand. Blood was everywhere. On the floor, splattering the wall, covering Alistair’s body. A scream ripped its way from Dean’s throat. “Dear god, no.” He whispered, sinking to his knees. “Alistair!” He screamed._

_Fumbling hands reached for Alistair, coming up short. Alistair’s eyes were still open, staring unseeing towards the dark ceiling above them. “I loved you,” he whispered toward Alistair, as though it would change his fate. “I loved you so much.”_

_Dean reached for his phone to call 911 when a hand grabbed his wrist. Alistair’s head had snapped towards him, his eyes bloodshot, and his mouth hanging open. “This is all your fault,” he growled. “You worthless piece of crap. I’m dead. And it’s all your fault.”_

Dean screamed again, this time jerking himself out of his dream. His hands were still shaking as he climbed out of bed and towards his bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and willed himself to stop crying. If someone found him like this…

Lucky for Dean, no one did, and he was able to make it back to bed without being seen. He slept fitfully for the rest of the night, and he had decided he had never been more happy to see morning when it finally came.

Cas got up a few hours after Dean, and since it was a Saturday, none of them had classes, and the girls chose to sleep in. Dean was starting a fresh pot of coffee and a third batch of muffins when Cas wandered into the kitchen.

His blue eyes scanned over the kitchen, and the mounds of food; piles of bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, and hashbrowns. “What’s wrong?” He said, perching on the only empty spot on the counter.

“Nothing,” he replied all too quickly. “Why do you ask?”

“You cook a lot when there’s something bothering you. What is it?” When Dean didn’t answer him, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Then I have something else to ask you.”

“And that is?”

“Who’s Alistair?” Dean’s whole body jerked, and the coffee pot fell from his grasp. “Crap, Dean.” He jumped down from the counter, grabbing a broom the help sweep up the broken glass.

Dean was starting to breathe heavier, and he felt as though he were on fire. Just hearing Alistair’s name inspired a panic attack of sorts and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Cas was asking about him.

Once the glass and immediate danger had been cleared up, Cas lead Dean to the table and sat him down. “You want to explain what that was all about?” He asked, his voice not unkind.

“Not particularly.” Cas sighed, clearly wanting to know, but not wanting to push. “Maybe one day. But not now.” The blue-eyed man settled back into his chair.

“Fine. But just so you know… I’m always here if you need to, I don’t know, talk.” Dean nodded, and Cas gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now, I need to go buy a new coffee pot.” He forced a laugh before going to get dressed.

Dean was still sitting at the table when the doorbell rang 5 minutes later. “I’ll get it,” he called, to no one in particular. He was still slightly shaken from the previous night’s dream, plus someone asking about Dean’s past was never a good thing. “Oh, Anna,” he said, getting a look at the person on the other side of the door. “I’ll go and get Cas.”

“Actually,” she said, rather sharply. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes flicked nervously towards the open front door. “In private.”

“O-kay.” He said, trying and failing to keep his anxiousness out of his voice. “What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes practically bulged out of his head. “What?!”

“I said-” Dean cut her off. “Yeah I heard you the first time.” He ran a tired hand over his face. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, I was late on my period and I’ve taken like four pregnancy tests and they all say positive.” Anna looked anywhere but him, as she chewed her lips nervously.

“Is it-I mean, is it-” He sighed. “Is it mine…?”

“I don’t know.” She answered softly. “It’s not like I sleep with a lot of guys but… Look, I was with my boyfriend for over a year, we broke up and I slept with you to get back at him. But now… We’re back together and, well, this has to be his kid. It just has to be.”

“Then why are you here?” He asked, not sure of what she wanted.

“I need to know for sure. If it’s not his… Well, let’s just say I can’t have the baby of someone else.” Dean’s stomach dropped, realizing what she meant. As much as he couldn’t stand the thought of her having an abortion, he knew it was her choice if it came to that.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I need to take a paternity test, okay?”

He nodded quickly. “Fine, fine, okay. Just don’t-”

“Don’t tell Cas.” She cut him off. “I know.”

“Let me get dressed and meet me by my car in 5, okay?” Anna nodded, and left. Dean had just turned around and went into his room when Cas came in.

“Who was at the door?”

“Uh, no one. Wrong address.” He changed his shirt quickly.

“You were out there for a long time for a wrong address.”

“I was trying to give them directions.” Castiel nodded, though he didn’t seem to believe him. Although, that could have been Dean’s guilt making him paranoid. “Hey, man, I feel bad about breaking the coffee pot, so why don’t I go buy it?” He sounded over eager and he knew it, but he couldn’t seem to calm down.

“Dean, are you sure you’re okay?” He sounded so worried and every word felt like a stab wound to Dean but he just found himself nodding.

“Never been better, man, really.” Cas looked uneasy but he left Dean anyway. “I made my bed.” He said softly, the smile falling fast from his face. “Now I have to lie in it.”

***

Dean left shortly after, meeting Anna down at his car, and the two were off. “I’m really sorry, Anna.”

“Hey, you didn’t make me have sex with you. It’s my fault as much as yours.” Her words sounded harsh but there was a reassuring edge to it that Dean couldn’t quite place.

“If it is… mine…” He paused, not even sure of what it was he was trying he say. “You do whatever you need to do. I’ll support whatever you choose.”

“Even if I decide to raise it as Josh’s and mine? Even if I say you can never tell it who its real father is?” Anna was watching him very carefully.

Dean’s jaw clenched. “It’s your baby. That means that it’s your choice.”

“Thank you, Dean.” She sounded genuinely thankful.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the ride, nor did they talk on the way back to Dean’s apartment after the test had been taken. In fact, once they had parted ways, they didn’t talk until 3 days later, when Anna got her results back.

It was after 1 and Dean was pacing. Anna had called and left a message saying she was getting the results and would bring them by as soon as she got them. Of course, that was more than an hour before, and Dean was starting to panic. Cas was in class, as were the girls so Dean was left at home to worry by himself, not that he could share his anxieties with any of his friends.

There was a sharp knock on the door and Dean raced towards it. He ripped open the door to find Anna standing there, a giant smile on her face. “It’s not yours.”

Dean let out a long sigh of relief, pulling her into a giant hug. “I’m so happy!” He stepped aside so she could come into the apartment and he couldn’t but let out cry of joy. “I’m not going to be a father!”

“It’s Josh’s baby.” The smile spread across her face was infectious and Dean found himself wanted to hug her again. “I’d say break out the champagne but, you know…” She gestured to her stomach.

“You have no idea how afraid I was that your baby was going to be mine.” Dean said with a small laugh.

“Excuse me?” Dean and Anna both stopped dead in their tracks. In their fit of joy, the two had forgotten to shut the door, and therefore had no warning to Castiel coming into the apartment.

“Castiel.” Anna said, her voice freezing with fear. Dean found himself unable to move, terrified of what his roommate would do.

“Good evening, Anna. If you wouldn’t mind, would you close the door on your way out? I need to have a private word with Dean, please.” The cold manner in which he spoke was even worse than if he were yelling.

“Cast-”

“Please, Anna, leave now.” Giving a defeated sigh, she squeezed Dean’s hand reassuringly and left.

“Cas, let me expl-”

“You slept with my sister?” Cas demanded.

“Yes, but-”

“I want you out.”

“What?” Dean practically squeaked.

“I. Want. You. Out.” Castiel all but growled at him, glowering at Dean as he spoke.

“Cas, please, just let me expl-”

“What is there to explain?” Cas interrupted him again. “You slept with my sister, even though we were supposed to be friends.” The hurt was evident in his voice and it cut Dean even deeper still. “God, Dean, you get paid for being a slut on a daily basis, can’t you just take a day off?”

“Cas…” Dean’s voice broke. He knew what he was, deep down, he had always known what he was. But Cas never called him that, had never thought of him in such a terrible way, and somehow, knowing that made it all the worse.

“Don’t.” Cas snapped. “Only my friends get to call me that, and we, Dean Winchester, are not friends nor will we ever be again.” Before Dean could open his mouth once again, Castiel grabbed him and pushed him towards the door. “I want you gone. Now.”

“No. Cas, please, can we just talk?”

Cas didn’t even listen. “Out. And if I ever see you in this apartment, hell, in this state, again, I will tell everyone what I big, fat, lying, whore you are. I will scream it until the day I die, do you understand me?”

Dean could only nod numbly. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”

“Get out.” Dean let himself be pushed out before he sank to the ground. How could he have been so stupid? Everything was ruined and he had no one to blame but himself. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes and he ran. He ran until he got to his Baby and then he just drove. He drove until he got to a red light a block away. Only, given the tears in his eyes, he didn’t see the 18-wheeler coming, and he just kept going.

**There was a screeching of metal and wheels and then there was just silence. There was blood and there was the screams of sirens a minute later, then people trying to push their way closer to see what the damage was. But despite everything around him, despite the life filling every corner of the world that surrounded him, Dean Winchester was dying.**


	9. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the wreckage of the accident through Cas' POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the next few chapters are all set in the same time frame, throughout the same few days. In each of them, you will be reading from a different character's POV. This first chapter is from Castiel. Also, please note I am not a doctor, nor am I in med school or have any knowledge of the medical world. I did the best I could on the medical aspects of this and I apologize for anything I get too wrong. If anything is too obviously wrong, please feel to tell me. 
> 
> P.S. I loved all of your responses on the last chapter and I'm excited to hear what you think of this one. :)

Dean Winchester was in a coma. He had been for several days; 8 to be exact. All the while, friends, family, even co-workers had gathered to wait. Of course, patience is not simply the ability to wait; it's how you behave while waiting. And for this group of people; everyone had a different way of patience. As with everything, some dealt better than others, and some simply wished to trade places with Dean. This, however, is the story of Castiel Novak’s guilt.

***

It was 3am when Castiel got the phone call. He answered it, despite his reluctance, because no one ever called after midnight, unless it meant bad news. “Hello?” He said groggily into his end of the phone.

“Cas?” Sam Winchester. Castiel sighed, for he knew he was about to be chewed out. Surely Dean had reached his old home by now, and told the rest of the Winchesters what he had said. Guilt gnawed at his stomach and he fought not to squirm in his bed.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me.” His voice sounded weary, and wasn’t that just the best description of him? He hated himself for what he had said to Dean, and honestly, who wouldn’t? He had said the worst things he could manage, spitting them at an already vulnerable man. Castiel sighed. _No_ , he told himself. _Dean slept with your sister. Your sister! He knew that it would hurt you, and he did it anyway._ “Sam, it is after 3 in the morning… What do you want?” Better to just get to the point.

“Cas… There’s-” His voice broke and only now could Castiel hear the tears falling on the other end. A pit started to form in Castiel’s stomach, tears meant something was really, _really_ , wrong. “There’s been an a-accident. De-” Another choked sob. “Dean was hit by another car.”

“What?” Words were falling fast from Castiel’s mouth before he could stop them. “Is he- is he dead?”

“No, b-but, look, C-cas… It will be hours b-before we can g-get up there.. C-could you or Charlie g-go and see him?” Sam’s voice sounded so broken and small on the other line, and it felt like a stab to his gut.

“Of course, Sam, of course.” Suddenly, all of his anger towards Dean was gone, replacing by a desperate need to see the man. He needed proof that Dean would be okay, that his _best friend_ would be okay.

“Thank you, C-cas. Dean always says how great of a friend you are.” Another stab to his gut. “We’ll be up there as soon as we can, okay? Thanks again, C-cas. Bye.”

The line clicked dead, and Cas fought back the tears forming in his eyes. A strangled cry ripped it’s way from his throat, and he grabbed his pillow, chucking it across the room. It was all his fault, and he knew it. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

***

4:30am found Cas, Charlie and Jo in the Denver Medical Health Center. Seeing as they weren’t really family, they had been forced to wait outside in the lobby indefinitely. Every so often, the same nurse would pop out into the waiting room to give them an update.

“He is still in surgery, I’m afraid.” Her large brown eyes were very kind, and she gave them the most reassuring smile she could muster up. “I will let you know if something changes.”

“Thank you, Nurse Moseley.” Castiel mumbled, rolling the coffee cup in his hands back and forth, back and forth. He had been doing that same motion from the time Charlie brought him the coffee 45 minutes before.

“‘Course, baby.” After giving him a solid squeeze to the soldier, she went back to the operating room, leaving the three roommates alone once more.

Ellen came in the door of the hospital, four more cups of coffee in her hand. “If you won’t go get some sleep, you’re going to need these.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Jo took her and Charlie’s coffee, setting them on the table before them.

Ellen just nodded away the gratitude. “‘Course.” She cast a worried look over his shoulder. “How’s he doing?”

“They won’t tell us much, since we’re not family. Nurse Moseley just keeps saying that he’s in surgery, and he’s stable for the moment.” Jo ran on hand through Charlie’s hair, keeping the other holding her girlfriend’s hand.

“Thank God he’s made it this long.” Ellen took a long drink of her coffee. “Of all the people this could have happened to… Why Dean?”

Charlie was laid across two chairs, with her head in Jo’s lap. Her eyes were tinged in red, tears drying on her pale face. “He’s gonna be okay… I can just feel it.” She said quietly, her hand tightening on Jo’s.

Meanwhile, Jo looked just as bad as he did. Her hair was stray, her nose was running and her face was red from the tears she was fighting to hold in. “If he dies… I swear to God, I will never forgive him.” Almost without thinking, she traced one hand over Charlie’s hair.

“He’s always such a good driver… I just can’t believe he got in a _car accident._ ” Charlie shook her head. “He’s going to freak out when he sees Baby.”

The four of them laughed at that, a terse, worried laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “I guess now we know why he never came home.” Jo said solemnly from her position.

At those words, Castiel felt more guilt creeping into his stomach. It was true, but Dean had only gotten into the accident because of him. If he hadn’t kicked Dean out of the apartment, he never would have been driving, and he wouldn’t be in a hospital at the moment.

“Cas, honey? You okay?” Cas jerked his head up at Ellen’s words. “You just got really pale.”

“I’m fine.” He said tersely. And what a lie that was.

***

It was almost noon when the Winchesters arrived. They met them at the hospital, where Dean was finally out of surgery and in his own room. Castiel, Charlie and Jo still were not allowed to see him, as they weren’t legally family, and Ellen had left some time after 7 to open up the Roadhouse, making them promise to call if anything changed. The three of them were sat in the waiting room, empty coffee cups littering the area, Charlie sound asleep in Jo’s lap.

“Castiel?” His head snapped up to see Mary Winchester rushing towards him. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun, her lipstick smudged, and her clothes wrinkled.

“Mrs. Winchester, how are you?” He wrapped her in a firm hug, after nudging Charlie and Jo awake.

She gave him a watery smile. “I’ve been better, honestly.” After a second, Sam and his father were in the waiting room, and they were all exchanging hugs. This was the first time Castiel had met their family face-to-face, although there had been a good number of Skype calls that he had been roped into.

“Any more news?” Sam asked, skipping all formalities.

“They won’t tell us anything.” Jo said irritatedly. “Just because we’re not blood, doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to know what’s going on.”

“Family don’t end with blood.” Bobby said, appearing from behind John.

Mary just shook her head. “We’re here now, so they have to tell us something.”

Nurse Moseley must have seen the new arrivals for she was over not a minute later. “Are you Dean Winchester’s parents?”

“Yes, yes, we are.” John said, coming to stand with his fingers interlaced with Mary’s.

Missouri gave a pained look towards the rest of the group. “Can we go somewhere private, please?”

“They deserve to know, just as much as us.” Mary began to protest.

She simply shook her head. “Fine, fine. But please come with me. All of you.” She led them to what looked like a conference room, and waited for them to sit before she went on. “Dean is not in a good position. There’s been some severe internal bleeding, brain damage, and his liver is failing.”

Tears formed in Castiel’s eyes. That was not what he had wanted to see. “For now, he isn’t waking up.” Missouri just shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“So what?” Sam snapped from his seat. “He’s just going to die?”

“Sam, please.” Mary said quietly.

“No!” Sam looked indignant. “Dean is not going to die! I won’t let him! You have to make him better! That’s _your job_!”

“Now, he will need a liver transplant, and that’s just the beginning of the trouble.” Nurse Moseley said, as though Sam wasn't freaking out beside her. 

“What does that mean?” John asked, looking steadily more concerned.

“First off, he needs the transplant if he had any chance of surviving. Given the damage to the rest of him, his chances of getting on a transplant list and receiving one in time… Slim to none. However, there is a chance if someone in your family is a blood match… Maybe we could use part of theirs.” She cast her eyes around the group, seeing that the youngest Winchester was about to volunteer. “The donor has the be at least 18 years of age.”

The one in question jumped up. “That’s crap! What if I’m his only shot?”

“I’m sorry, Sam, I really am. That’s just how the system works, I’m afraid.” Mary stood to guide Sam back into his seat. “Now, even _if_ we can get a donor, and get the transplant done… He may never wake up. Dean’s strong, I believe that, but… The amount of damage done to his brain does not look good. He doesn’t have great chances, if we’re being completely honest.”

“Dean will wake up. I know he will.” This time it was Charlie was spoke. Jo took her hand once more. “Dean is strong. He’ll wake up and laugh at you for saying he wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” Moseley said. “Let’s say he does. There is severe damage to his cerebral cortex, which means that _if_ he wakes up… He may not even remember you all.”

Mary began to cry at this, and Castiel couldn’t blame her. He hated the thought of Dean not remembering him. He hated the thought of Dean dying. Pretty much, he hated the whole situation. But he mostly just hated himself from putting them all there.

***

He got the call at 3am almost a week later. His hand flew towards the phone, and his heart fell through his stomach. The last week had been a lot of pain, tests, and worry. After finding out that the only person who even remotely matched Dean’s type was John, surgeries had been scheduled, and hope had been placed.

The surgery had been two days before, and Dean still hadn’t woken up. He was stable, which was more than could be said for John. The older man had been dangling over the ledge of death since the surgery, and everyone was on edge because of it. Things were not looking good for John Winchester, and everyone knew it. It was only a matter of time.

Castiel looked at the phone in his palm, still ringing away. He knew this call meant one of two things; either Dean had survived, or he hadn’t.

“Sam?” He asked, trying to keep his fear at bay.

**“Cas… He’s gone.”**


	10. Hope and Pain Go Hand in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the damage from Charlie and Jo's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, three chapters in a day! Maybe we will even get one tomorrow? I don't know! Anyway, I hope you will all enjoy this chapter!

Dean Winchester was in a coma. He had been for several days; 8 to be exact. All the while, friends, family, even co-workers had gathered to wait. Of course, patience is not simply the ability to wait; it's how you behave while waiting. And for this group of people; everyone had a different way of patience. As with everything, some dealt better than others, and some simply wished to trade places with Dean. This, however, is the story of Charlie Bradbury’s hope, and Jo Harvelle’s pain, because after all, hope and pain go hand in hand.

***

It was a little after 3 in the morning when Charlie was shaken out of her slumber. “What the hell, Novak?” She snapped, rubbing sleep from her eyes. Jo began to stir beside her and she felt a smile spread across her face in spite of herself. She would never get over the high that was dating her best friend.

“There’s been an accident.” The words were flowing from Castiel’s mouth so fast, it seemed he couldn’t help himself. “Sam called me and Dean got in a bad accident and-”

“Cas, breathe!” Jo grabbed his arm, forcing him to sit down. “Breathe,” she said, much kinder than before.

He took a few, long breaths. “Dean’s in the hospital. Sam says that he’s on the way with his parents but… Dean needs someone there. Sam says it’s really bad.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Charlie was out of the bed in seconds, dragging Jo and Cas with her. “Cas- you go get ready and meet us by the Pimpmobile in ten. Got it?” He nodded before leaving.

“Now, Jo, you and I are going to get ready, and… and…” Her words fell short and she sank onto the bed. “His family is coming from _Kansas_. That means something has to be really wrong… Doesn’t it?”

“Don’t think like that.” Jo said, snaking her arms around Charlie’s waist. “Dean’s a fighter. He’ll pull through this without a scratch. Just you watch.”

Charlie just nodded, trying to imagine a world without Dean Winchester. Despite her only knowing him a matter of months, she found that she couldn’t. The world would be too gray, too dull, too meaningless. She didn’t want a world without Dean… She really didn’t. So she did the only thing she could. She did the thing that she always had, because it was the only thing that made sense to her.

She lied. “Dean’s a fighter. He’ll pull through this without a scratch.”

***

Jo called her mom on the way to the hospital, explained what was going on and agreed to meet her there. Given their head start, they beat her there and were left to stew in their own juices once they talked to Missouri Moseley.

_“I’m very sorry, ladies, but I can’t give out any information about Mr. Winchester unless you are family.”_

_“But-”_

_“I said I’m sorry. Look, all I can say is that… There’s a lot of damage, okay? He’s going into surgery in a few minutes, and I’ll make sure I’m with him.”_

_“Is he going to die?”_

_“Jo!”_

_“I’m just… I need to know.”_

_“He’s stable for the moment, but given the extent of his condition, that could change. If anything does change, I will let you three know.”_

_“You make sure he doesn’t die, okay?”_

_“I’ll do my best.”_

As Missouri headed back to the OR, Charlie climbed onto the chair next to Jo. “I swear to god, if Dean dies, I will kill him.”

They didn’t talk much more until Ellen finally arrived, a pained look on her face. “Hey, baby.” She gave Jo a long hug, then followed it up with Charlie and Cas. “Any news on Dean?”

“He’s not dead.” Cas offered unhelpfully. “But that could change.”

“What’s your problem?” Jo snapped.

“Guys, please.” Charlie’s voice was strained. “Dean’s not going to get better with us fighting out here. So please just cool it.”

Cas waved her away. “I’m going to get coffee. We’re going to be here for a while.” Charlie curled up against Jo, burrowing deep into her sweatshirt.

“What are we going to do if Dean… If he doesn’t make it?” Jo’s voice was small, and Charlie hated that more than anything. She knew it was her job as a girlfriend, as a best friend, hell as a person, to make Jo feel better. It was her job to lie, even if she didn’t believe it herself.

“Dean’s a fighter. He will make it through.”

***

“Dean is not in a good position. There’s been some severe internal bleeding, brain damage, and his liver is failing.” Every word Missouri spoke was like a stab in Charlie’s heart. The worst part was, no matter how much Charlie tried to gloss over it, it didn’t look like she could lie her way out of this situation.

“For now, he isn’t waking up.” Missouri just shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“So what?” Sam snapped from his seat. “He’s just going to die?”

“Sam, please.” Mary said quietly.

“No!” Sam looked indignant. “Dean is not going to die! I won’t let him! You have to make him better! That’s _your job_!” Charlie tried and failed to hold in a sob. Jo squeezed her shoulder tightly.

“Now, _if_ he does wake up, he will need a liver transplant, and that’s just the beginning of the trouble.” Nurse Moseley said.

“What does that mean?” John asked, looking paler than Charlie remembered. Surely he had always been that shade of white?

“First off, he needs the transplant if he had any chance of surviving. Given the damage to the rest of him, his chances of getting on a transplant list and receiving one in time… Slim to none. However, there is a chance if someone in your family is a blood match… Maybe we could use part of theirs.” She cast her eyes around the group. “The donor has the be at least 18 years of age.”

At this, Sam left his seat. “That’s crap! What if I’m his only shot?”

“I’m sorry, Sam, I really am. That’s just how the system works, I’m afraid.” Mary stood to guide Sam back into his seat. “Now, _if_ we can get a donor, and get the transplant done… He still may never wake up. Dean’s strong, I believe that, but… The amount of damage done to his brain does not look good. He doesn’t have great chances, if we’re being completely honest.”

Charlie’s heart fell through to her stomach. Dean had become like a brother to her, and she’d be damned if she let him die. She donate her own damn liver if that’s what it took. Since she couldn’t exactly change the facts of the meeting, she had to at least try and change the tone.

“Dean will wake up. I know he will.” Jo took her hand once more, running her thumb over the backside of Charlie’s hand. “Dean is strong. He’ll wake up and laugh at you for saying he wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” Moseley said. “Let’s say he does. There is severe damage to his cerebral cortex, which means that _if_ he wakes up… He may not even remember you all.”

Mary began to cry at this, and it was all Charlie could do not to join in. The idea of Dean being alive and forgetting them all… Charlie couldn’t stand it. “Excuse me.” She stood to leave, and at Jo’s questioning look, she lied one final time. “Just need to use the restroom.”

***

Over the course of the next few days, Charlie did something unusual. She baked. She made cookies, cakes, pies, and an assortment of other delicacies. Each one was decorated to the tee, complete with overdone smiley-faces and hearts and stars… Anything cheery. At first, no one seemed to notice. However, by the fourth day, as their kitchen overflowed with baked goods, Jo decided she had to say _something_.

“What’s with all this baked crap?” Jo said, plopping onto a seat in the kitchen. “You trying to make me super fat so I’ll never leave you?”

Charlie ignored her comment and continued rolling out her pie crust. “I imagine Dean will be hungry when he wakes up.”

“Char…”

“Don’t,” Charlie said, her voice terse. “He has his surgery tomorrow and then… Well, it will only be a matter of time now. I give it a few hours and then Dean will be up and running.” She forced a laugh. “And you know Dean. Only thing he loves more than Dr. Sexy MD is pie.”

Jo approached the redhead, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Charlie, please talk to me. You’ve been like this since the accident. Please just… Talk to me. I’m your _girlfriend_. Please, just…” She sighed. “Stop all this fake happy crap and be honest with me.”

“What should I say?” Charlie spun around, and only then did Jo see the build up of tears to come. “That every time my phone rings, I’m terrified that it’s Sam calling to say that Dean’s dead? That-that-” She took a deep gasping breath before plowing on, “Every time we go to visit Dean in the hospital, all I can do is remember my Mom and Dad? I remember visiting them in the hospital after _their_ accident! Remember how well things worked out for them?!”

“Oh, Char…” She pulled the sobbing girl into her arms, rubbing her hair softly. “You know what will make you feel better?”

“Hmm?” Charlie questioned, her voice muffled.

“Throwing cupcakes off the balcony.” A smile broke out on her face. “Sound good?”

“Yeah.” The two spent almost an hour dropping cupcake after cupcake on unsuspecting students below. Eventually, they retired back to the living room, where Charlie climbed into Jo’s lap.

“Hey, Char?” Jo said quietly.

“Yeah?” She looked up at the blonde.

“This isn’t like before. Dean… Dean’s going to pull through this, okay?”

And for the first time since Dean’s accident, Charlie didn’t feel like she was lying. “Okay.”

***

Charlie and Jo were going to visit Dean two days after his surgery. Despite the fact that he had yet to wake up, the two were hopeful that today was the day, for real this time. “Maybe if we brought some pie, you know? He might smell it and ooh! We could bring some Dr. Sexy!” The two giggled at Charlie’s suggestion, coming up on the nurse’s desk.

“Morning, Ms. Moseley,” Jo said, with a tip of her imaginary hat.

“You two are in good moods this morning.” She smiled at them. “I happy to see it.”

They exchanged looks. “Well, you see, today’s the day. I can feel it.” Charlie tapped on her desk.

“I certainly hope you girls are right.”

Suddenly, nurses were running, lights were flashing, and above it all was the sound of, “CODE BLUE. CODE BLUE. CODE BLUE.”

“Misso-”

“Girls. Stay here.”

Jo didn’t listen, although maybe she should have. She raced to the hallway to see just where the alarms were coming from. “Charlie.”

**“It’s his room, isn’t it?” All she got was a sob in response.**


	11. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to deal with Dean's accident the best he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really difficult to write, especially towards the end. I'm kind of crap at writing Sam, so I'd love to hear what you guys think about how I did, and any ideas on how to improve it. I also can't wait to hear what you guys think of the end of this chapter. Anyway, without further ado, I hope you enjoy chapter 11.

Dean Winchester was in a coma. He had been for several days; 8 to be exact. All the while, friends, family, even co-workers had gathered to wait. Of course, patience is not simply the ability to wait; it's how you behave while waiting. And for this group of people; everyone had a different way of being patient. As with everything, some dealt better than others, and some simply wished to trade places with Dean. This, however, is the story of Sam Winchester’s anger.

***

“Sam, honey,” Mary’s voice was kind, but there was a trace of some other emotion lurking beneath it. Pain? Worry? He couldn’t quite tell, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. “Wake up, okay?”

“Wassgoingon?” He mumbled, wishing he were more awake than he felt.

Only now did Sam see the tears filling his mother’s eyes as she sank onto his bed. “Honey,” she took his hand. “There’s been an accident. Dean got banged up pretty bad, okay? We’re going to drive up there.” She forced a smile, surely just for his benefit, and pushing his hair off his forehead. “You’re going to stay with Bobby, okay?”

“No!” He said, pulling away from her grasp. “If Dean’s hurt, I’m coming with you.”

“Sam… I don’t have time to fight. The clock is ticking.”

Sam didn’t like the sound of those words at all. “I’ll call Cas, and see if he can go check on Dean.”

“Thank you, honey.”

“But, I’m coming with you.”

“Sam-”

“No. Dean is my brother, and I will be damned if he’s gonna sit in a hospital, hurt or injured or dying or anything, without me.” Sam was out of the bed by now. “Now, how long should I pack for?” He asked, reaching for his closet door.

Mary gave a small frown but didn’t fight him. She could tell it would be a losing battle. Little did she know, she would be thinking that a lot in the next few days.

***

It was around 3 in the morning by the time Sam was packed and John was loading things into their car with Bobby’s help (the older man had insisted on coming). He had been trying so hard to keep himself together, for his mother’s sake if nothing else. But thinking about Dean lying in a hospital bed a state away… He began to lose it. “I’m going to call Cas,” he mumbled, rushing towards the bathroom.

The tears flowed freely out of sight from his mother, and he gasped for breath. How many times had Dean been there for Sam. Hell, there had been time when Sam thought of Dean as more of a father than his own. He fought back all the good memories, choosing instead to focus on the task at hand. Calling Cas.

Castiel answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?” He said groggily into his end of the phone.

“Cas?” Sam hated how small and pathetic his voice sounded.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me. Sam, it is after 3 in the morning… What do you want?” Castiel’s harsh tone and angry words were doing nothing to help sooth Sam’s unravelling strength.

“Cas… There’s-” His voice broke and he gasped for breath. “There’s been an a-accident. De-” Another choked sob. “Dean was hit by another car.”

“What?” Words were falling fast from Castiel’s mouth. “Is he- is he dead?”

“No, b-but, look, C-cas… It could be hours b-before we can g-get up there.. C-could you or Charlie g-go and see him?” Sam was practically pleading.

“Of course, Sam, of course.”

“Thank you, C-cas. Dean always says how great of a friend you are. We’ll be up there as soon as we can, okay? Thanks again, C-cas. Bye.”

He clicked off the phone, and the only sound left in the room was the sound of his crying. He wiped them away and stood up from perch on the counter. He didn’t feel like crying anymore, he just felt so angry. Using as much as the anger as he could, he punched the mirror before him, cracking it and distorting his reflection. “I’m coming, Dean. You’re my brother and I’m coming to bring you home.”

***

It was after 11 by the time the Winchesters got to the hospital. They parked in a hurry, knowing that every second could be the difference between getting to say goodbye to Dean, and not getting to, although Sam knew they shouldn’t think like that.

As they into the lobby, Sam couldn’t help but notice how alive the hospital seemed, with all its nurses and doctors milling about, couples and families coming to see loved ones back to health, the whole deal. Something deep within Sam almost felt cheated, betrayed even. How were these people just going on with life while his brother lie somewhere, injured and possibly dying.

His mother’s voice snapped him out of his haze. “Castiel?”

The man in question snapped his head up, revealing a pale face with dark circles under his eyes. “Mrs. Winchester, how are you?” He hugged her.  

“I’ve been better, honestly.” His mother replied with a sad smile. After a second, Castiel was coming over to hug Sam, as though they had known each other for years. The fact that the two had only talked for a few minutes over Skype was almost funny to Sam. Almost.

The hug did nothing to calm Sam’s nerves. “Any more news?” He asked.

“They won’t tell us anything.” Jo said irritatedly. “Just because we’re not blood, doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to know what’s going on.”

“Family don’t end with blood.” Bobby said from beside John.

Mary just shook her head. “We’re here now, so they have to tell us something.”

A minute or so later, a nurse appeared, her short stature doing nothing to make her seem less largely confident. “Are you Dean Winchester’s parents?”

“Yes, yes, we are.” John said, coming to stand with his fingers interlaced with Mary’s.

The nurse gave a pained look towards the rest of the group. “Can we go somewhere private, please?”

“They deserve to know, just as much as us.” Mary began to protest.

She simply shook her head. “Fine, fine. But please come with me. All of you.” She led them to what looked like a conference room, and waited for them to sit before she went on. “Dean is not in a good position. There’s been some severe internal bleeding, brain damage, and his liver is failing.”

Sam clenched his fists angrily. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t be. “For now, he isn’t waking up.” The nurse, Missouri, just shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“So what?” Sam snapped from his seat. “He’s just going to die?”

“Sam, please.” Mary said quietly.

“No!” Sam found that he couldn’t silence the rage slowly boiling in the pit of his stomach. “Dean is not going to die! I won’t let him! You have to make him better! That’s _your job_!”

Missouri didn’t seem shaken by Sam’s screaming. She was probably used to dealing with grieving families by now. Always the picture of patience, she continued, “Now, _if_ he does wake up, he will need a liver transplant, and that’s just the beginning of the trouble.”

“What does that mean?” John asked, hardly seeming affected. Sam was angry at how calmly his father was taking this news. Dean had always worshipped their father, despite all his faults, despite all of the reasons not to. And this was how John repaid him? By not giving a crap as his son lie dying in a hospital?

“First off, he needs the transplant if he had any chance of surviving. Given the damage to the rest of him, his chances of getting on a transplant list and receiving one in time… Slim to none. However, there is a chance if someone in your family is a blood match… Maybe we could use part of theirs.” She cast her eyes around the group, as Sam opened his mouth to volunteer himself. “The donor has the be at least 18 years of age.”

He jumped up, suddenly wishing he had something to hit. “That’s crap! What if I’m his only shot?”

“I’m sorry, Sam, I really am. That’s just how the system works, I’m afraid.” Mary stood to guide Sam back into his seat. “Now, _if_ we can get a donor, and get the transplant done… He may never wake up. Dean’s strong, I believe that, but… The amount of damage done to his brain does not look good. He doesn’t have great chances, if we’re being completely honest.”

“Dean will wake up. I know he will.” This time it was Charlie was spoke. Jo took her hand once more. “Dean is strong. He’ll wake up and laugh at you for saying he wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” Moseley said. “Let’s say he does. There is severe damage to his cerebral cortex, which means that _if_ he wakes up… He may not even remember you all.”

Mary began to cry at this, and Sam sank backward. The rage within him had died down, leaving him with nothing but fear.

***

Sam sat at Dean’s bedside 4 days later, Mary next to him. “Baby, you should go get some sleep.”

“No,” he said, still staring at his brother’s comatose body.

“Please.” Mary was practically begging.

“I said _no_.” Ever since they had figured out that Mary wasn’t the same blood type as Dean, Sam had been angry with her. He knew it wasn’t right. After all, she couldn’t help it. Still, he was angry at the world, and Mary was easier to take it out on.

Mary sighed, rubbing her hands on her pants. “At least eat something.”

“I will when he does.” He said quietly.

“Well,” she stood. “I’m going to get you some food, just in case you change your mind.” She kissed his forehead before leaving.

Sam pulled his chair closer to Dean’s bedside. “Can you believe her?” He shook his head. “I can’t leave until you wake up, and she knows that. Speaking of which…” He tapped his foot impatiently. “When _do_ you plan on waking up?”

He stood to pace. “I mean, I’m waiting, Dean. We are _all_ waiting. Cas has barely left the waiting room. You had some people from that store you work at show up… Benny and Andrea or something. Mom won’t stop crying.” He let out a harsh laugh. “And then there’s Dad. I know that you act like he’s some kind of god or something but… He doesn’t give a crap. And I hate him for it.”

Shoving a chair, he spun back on Dean. “And now I hate you. Because you’re just _lying there_. You’re not even _trying_ to wake up. I mean, _damn it_ Dean, how hard can it be to just _wake up_. Just do it! _Wake up_ , DEAN! WAKE UP!” Sam was screaming by then, shaking Dean’s shoulders as hard as he could. “WAKE UP!”

His body was racked with angry sobs, and suddenly there were hands on him, nurses piling into the room to pull him away from his brother, from _Dean_. And Dean just kept lying there. And Sam hated him for it.

***

It was the next day when Sam returned to the hospital. He got Cas to drop him off on his way to class, though the car ride was something… Different.

“How are you doing?” Cas asked, almost sounding to Sam like he really cared. Almost.

“My brother is dying, how do you think?” He snapped.

Castiel cringed. “You know, he was my best friend. I may not go around crying or biting people’s heads off, but I’m hurting too.”

“Are you? You know, since this whole thing happened, you haven’t been in his room one time. I don’t think you even care.”

Slamming on brakes, Castiel turned towards the Winchester. “You know _nothing_. Dean was- no, _is_ my best friend. You think I want to spend hours staring at his dying body? You think I want to sit there knowing that he can’t hear me, knowing that he doesn’t even know that I’m there? It would kill me. So believe me when I say I care, Sam Winchester. Oh god, do I care. So you can shut the hell up or you can go screw yourself.”

Sam sat in stunned silence as Cas pulled back onto the main road. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know how it must look. But, believe me. Dean is my best friend. If something happens to him…” Cas trailed off.

“Go see him.” Sam said. “If something _does_ happen… You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t say goodbye.”

“Maybe you’re right.” They didn’t speak for the rest of the ride to the hospital. Once they got there, Sam gave him a small wave before heading into the building.

He was right outside of Dean’s door when he heard the raised voices inside. “Damn it, Mary. He’s my son. If I don’t do this, he could _die_!”

“You think I don’t realize that?” Mary sobbed. “He’s my son too. I _gave birth_ to him. I don’t want to lose him _or_ you.” Sam furrowed his brow. Why would she lose John?

“It’s not like I’m giving him my heart! It’s just part of my liver! We can both live through this, Mary, please.”

“No. John, what if something goes wrong? I can’t lose both of you.”

“I’m Dean’s only chance.” John said softly.

“Let him do it.” Sam stepped into the room, and his parents jumped.

“Sam-” Mary’s voice was pleading.

“Mom.” He gave her a hard look. “Dad’s a match, isn’t he?”

“Sam-”

“Yes, I am.” John cut in.

“Then you’re doing it.” Sam said, leaving no room for argument.

“I’m not the one objecting.”

“I won’t lose you too.” Mary said weakly.

“Are you stupid, Mom?” He cringed at his tone but kept going. “If Dad doesn’t do this, you will lose Dean. We all will. If he does, then there’s a chance Dean will live. That means there’s a chance you won’t lose anyone at all.”

“No.”

Sam laughed a cold, harsh laugh. “Mom. I swear to god and whoever else may be listening, if you don’t let Dad do this, I will _never_ forgive you. Until the day I die, I will resent you with every fiber of my being. Do you understand?”

“Fine. Get the damn surgery.” She grabbed her jacket, tears forming in her eyes. “Do whatever the hell you want.”

Mary stormed out, leaving Sam and his father alone. “I know she’s not happy about it, but I have to do this. For Dean.”

“For Dean.” Sam said quietly.

***

It had been a week since the accident and Sam was sitting in his father and Dean’s joint room. After John’s surgery, it had been more affordable than getting them each their own, plus it just made more sense. This way Sam and Mary could visit both men at once, rather than switching each hour.

John lay in his bed, his eyes closed, his breathing harsh. Ever since the surgery, he had been going downhill. Despite his reluctance to admit it, they all knew it was only a matter of time. None of them knew how truly numbered their days were.

It was getting late; almost 1am, but still Sam sat there. He thought about everything and nothing at all. And that’s when it happened. He heard the alarms before he saw the body before him convulsing. A scream ripped its way from his mouth. “HELP!”

It was barely a minute before nurses were running in, tools in tow. “No… No…”

“Sam,” _Missouri_. “Baby, please, you need to come with me.”

“No! He needs me! He needs me here!” He was dragged from the room by Missouri with the help of a rather large nurse. Sam was screaming so hard that he barely heard the worst sound imaginable. **A flat line.**

**Author's Note:**

> You can check out my tumblr here: hisfallencastiel.tumblr.com


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